bunnyears

…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…

Bunny Ears Podcast 42: The Ultimate Questions and Answers (Annotated)

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! I mean, I have lots of questions, like when do I get paid, or get to sleep, or go home, or take a bathroom break by myself…but I’m sure they’ll be answered one day. Meanwhile, the guys are going to answer more important questions from you.

The Lowdown:

Mack is eating Fritos for the first time in a while, and he loves them. Matt can hear his throat moving. It’s Halloween-ish, so David Pumpkins comes up (they both like the skit; Matt’s meh on the animated special that Mack hasn’t seen). They speculate about other flavors of Fritos, which do exist but they’re not clear which ones.

Unfiltered questions from Twitter are coming, and the first one is favorite pasta recipe. Mack likes shrimp scampi with vermouth. Matt remembers trying to get drunk off his parents’ liquor-filled chocolates, and they never really worked. Pasta makes you gain weight, though, and Mack wants to embrace the pot-belly only when he’s 50 or so. Matt worries his dad’s in better shape than he is.

Best live concert experiences: Mack says White Stripes and the Strokes. Matt says Phish, because drugs. A listener offers jiujitsu lessons so Mack can fight Devon Sawa someday. Mack says he’s a classically trained ballet dancer so he could totally do capoiera. Matt once quit a karate class after two sessions.

DON’T MISS:  Bunny Ears Podcast Episode 28 - Rob Kazinsky (Annotated)

Next question is how to keep your official Bunny Ears on during sex, and how to clean them afterward. Mack suggests tightening, but that could give you a headache; maybe put a headband on around the ears, or just have a second pair. Hand wash with dish soap.

Mack would totally play a dad in a Home Alone reboot, and wants Ryan Reynolds to call him about his pothead parody Stoned Alone. However, he did always hope it would turn into a horror franchise one day. Turns out he’s also a fan of the Loch Ness Monster, but particularly dislikes Mothman. Matt likes the Jersey Devil because of its origin story as a monster baby.

If you could swap lives with someone for three days, who would you be? Mack says since the question doesn’t specify non-fictional, he’d be Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell. Even if he’s only allowed to be PG-intimate with Kelly Kapowski, per the rules of the TV show. He also has the power to freeze time and know he’s entertaining. (Jeez, you guys should know you’re entertaining! Except when you lock me in the building overnight, but even then I can make my own fun sometimes.) Matt wants to be Donald Trump so he can change the world for good.

DON’T MISS:  Podcast Minisode - World Oceans Day (Annotated)

Then they talk about woodchucks chucking, celebrities answering prom date requests, mammals you can knock out with one punch, and whether they’ll ever do a podcast meet and greet.

Would you rather masturbate in front of your grandma, or let homeless people have sex in your bed before you go to sleep at night for a year? Can I do both? Mack picks the homeless option. Matt picks grandma, because she’s dead.

Big revelation: no listeners have ever sent in pics of sucking dicks. (Mine were ruled ineligible, just so all of you know.)

Mack describes people who make Home Alone references to try to get his goat as savages with no civilization, but he has a thick skin for it. Then he starts talking about his pets, and Matt tells a sad story about ten goldfish. This turns into a discussion of how many Macks it would take to fight a silverback gorilla, plus pajama pants.

Did we all know Davenport, Iowa was the home of sliced bread? Mmmmm, white bread…

There’s a pho versus ramen debate, remembrances of malls past, and Mack’s memory of a guy on a production who tried to get fired so he’d get paid, while the director and producers tried to get them to quit. He doesn’t name names. Then we find out he has no driver’s license.

DON’T MISS:  Episode 21 - Nerdy's Booky Book Corner (Annotated)

Dream podcast guest? Maybe Benjamin Franklin.

Final question: what are the best and worst things about the podcast? The bratwurst on the table is the WURST, get it? At least they didn’t say me.

Next week: Is this show ending? Tune in and find out why the answer is yes AND no.

The Highlights:

9:00 Mack wants his Strokes T-shirt back from his ex.

11:20 How the Mack-Sawa “feud” has entered its social media phase in a big way

16:30 Matt’s pitch for a new, darker Home Alone

33:20 Conditions under which Mack would fight a wolf

The Links:

-Fritos actually have many flavors. Here’s a list of the best ones.
-Just in case you really don’t know about David S. Pumpkins, here you go:

-Here’s the GoFundMe for Devon Sawa.

-And yes, FarmersOnly.com is a legit dating site for farmers.

-Davenport, Iowa, is part of the quad cities region. Here you can find some fun facts about that.

Contact The Guys!

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @bunnyearspod
Instagram: @bunnyearspodcast
Telephone: 845-EZE-HOAX

Mack
Twitter @IncredibleCulk
Instagram: Culkamania

Matt Cohen
Twitter: @Cameltoad
Instagram: @Cameltoad

Image: Disney

You Might Also Like

Winterize Your Home With The Spellbook You Stole From That Robed Skeleton

Let’s see the guys down at Home Depot do this!

Read More

Bunny Ears Staff Advice Column: EMOTIONS

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to the second ever Bunny Ears advice column, where Bunny Ears staff submit questions, and other Bunny Ears staff provide answers. Neither party knew who was asking or answering their questions. Until now … ] [EDITOR’S NOTE – PART TWO: We added an Amazon Affiliate link to this article. That means if you click…

Read More

Bunny Ears Staff Advice Column: RELATIONSHIPS

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to the first-ever Bunny Ears advice column, where Bunny Ears staff submit questions, and other Bunny Ears staff provide answers. Neither party knew who was asking or answering their questions. Until now…] Q – Hana Michels Dear trusted advisor, I’m attracted to narcissists. Every person I’ve ever dated has had at least one…

Read More
1 Comment
  1. Here is what I recall about the Jersey Devil origin story:

    The lady was about to give birth to her 13th child which is the unlucky evil number so she asked God to curse the child and then the baby was born with like hooves and wings and a tail and such and then it flew out the window. I fuckin’ love the Jersey Devil.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Stalk Us

Video of the Week

We’re Back, Baby! Take THAT, Sawa!