***—FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—*** Bunnyears.com Has Parted Ways With Our Resident Fact-Checker
***—FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—***
We at Bunny Ears are announcing the departure of our fact-checker, Thurston Greaydon James Ned Wulfric III, effective immediately. This decision is mutual-ish and we will include a short statement from Thurston in this release.
Thurston has been with us for eight months, fact-checking and testing everything from Ranch Cleanses to Pickled CBD Gluten-Free Cast-Iron Coconut Butter Crystal “Salmon” Taco Bowl With Salted Maca, Herbed Ghee, And Panamanian Venomous Toad, from Sound Baths to Toe-ga.
Yes, Thursty-Ned as we called him, jumped in with both feet while fact-checking various religious aspects of coyotes and the best hidden farm eateries. We will miss Thurston Greaydon James Ned Wulfric III, and wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors.
Official Statement From Thurston Greaydon Jamse Ned Wulfric III
“Hey, it’s Thurston. So, this whole “mutual” thing is a load of bullshit. Half of the time I was “testing” something, I didn’t know about it. They made Craig replace all my food with ranch, and when I tried to UberEats something else, they paid the guy to just deliver me more ranch. That toad thing? I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS TOAD OR DRUGS. Shawn told me it was “the super vegan” option. Elijah broke into my house one night and replaced all my clothes with Bunny Ears merch, and do you notice what Bunny Ears doesn’t sell? PANTS. I HAVE NOT had PANTS in SIX WEEKS. I can’t even tell you how many times I went to HR or tried to go to HR but Emily was always meditating (sleeping) or in the middle of some super complicated tea service. When I finally got in to see her, all she did was tell me all of my problems would go away if I slept with someone from Instagram and got us verified. I constantly, constantly told them their facts were wrong or misleading or dangerous (whose idea was drinking all the vinegar? I mean c’mon) and they just laughed and Hana said something about plausible deniability which I honestly don’t know if applies here. I just…I think I’m going to call Elon Musk and try to get my PR job back.”
From site Publisher, Macaulay Culkin
“Thurston Greaydon Jamse Ned Wulfric III’s habit of research, accountability, and the scientific method in no way align with the Bunny Ears mission statement or core values, and we consider this a necessary step forward for the company. We look upward and onward, and with significantly less oversight.”