Which Of Your Childhood Heroes Has Big Dick Energy by Jason Shapiro
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Which Of Your Favorite Childhood Heroes Has Big Dick Energy?

big dick energy

In our identity-obsessed culture, it’s dangerous to put people in boxes—both literally and figuratively. But while there’s no one way to define a soul, there are definitely strong universal energies which we all possess that help define who we are.

And today, I want to talk specifically about Big Dick Energy (BDE).

Everyone and their big-hog grandma is talking about BDE right now, and it’s because our universe is currently in its Big Dick cycle. (It’s important to note that BDE isn’t associated with the masculine or feminine. BDE is about standing in your power, being decisive, and waving around that big ol’ metaphorical dangler). While the internet is currently abuzz with BDE, it’s been around forever, and many of your childhood heroes harness its power. Let’s explore.

Big Bird

Big Bird definitely has Big Dick Energy. No one knows if Big Bird is male or female, and that allows him/her to flaunt that BDE with the best of them. Big Bird stands taller than all others on Sesame Street, both in truth and in stature. When Mr. Snuffleupagus was depressed, Big Bird taught him mindfulness and how to harness the expansive law of attraction. When Oscar the Grouch was being an asshole, Big Bird simply told him to take a walk. Big Bird always has the answers, and those answers emanate from the mighty spiritual phallus.

Lamb Chop

 

Lamb Chop and her handler Sheri Lewis had that BDE. Our beloved lamb puppet never worried about asking for help, which shows a vulnerability that is key to BDE. Lamb Chop and Sheri put in the spiritual work to became fully realized souls and used their BDE to entertain and teach children all over the world. That takes huge, figurative schlongs.

Mr. Rogers

Fred Rogers was a man who never talked publicly about his penis. He could have been packing a python or a little, worn out nub, but that’s besides the point. Mr. Rogers lived and breathed Big Dick Energy with his kindness, emotional depth, and perseverance. His legacy of doing the right thing and speaking truth to power helped bring BDE to the millions that welcomed him into their homes every day on their TV screens.

Elmo

Elmo does not have Big Dick Energy. He’s a little red menace who consistently pulls screen time from other Sesame Street characters who are better equipped to be role models for children. Don’t be tricked.

Miss Piggy

Miss Piggy has boatloads of BDE. She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take it. She’s the type of woman who asks forgiveness rather than permission. She’s always in the know, she shows class and sophistication, and she dresses to impress. That’s straight up BDE right there. Many don’t know this, but Miss Piggy trained in transcendental meditation under David Lynch and is a close childhood friend of Sting—two men in the Big Dick Energy hall of fame.

This list is just the beginning. So many more of our childhood heroes possessed the energies of Mother Gaia’s strong and sturdy phallus. Let’s keep this conversation going, so comment below with your favorite childhood hero and what gave them so much of that BDE.

Images via: PBS (Featured), Wikimedia Commons, PBS, Mike Mozart/Flickr, Ann Martin/Flickr

Jason Shapiro
Jason Shapiro

Author - Moon Truther

Has met Bob Dole, but refuses to brag about it. Childcare provider @LosFelizDaycare.

1 Comment
  1. Jason Shapiro, This is quite a neat article.. I love reading about Big Bird and other Sesame Street characters and I grew up watching Mr.Rogers Neighborhood when I was younger.. I would really love to meet Macaulay Culkin one day.. Hopefully he can come to my home town of Magee,Mississippi soon.. I would really love to take him to Zip’s for a Zip Burger.. I love the Home Alone movies.. I hope Starrcast in Chicago was good!!! If Macaulay can come to Magee within 2019 that would be great!!!!! I’m also glad to see that Matt Cohen got a new puppy!!!! Dogs are cool, but I’m really more of a cat person.. Cats are good!!!! By the way, would you happen to know when the Pizza Themed Bunny Ears get in stock on the website?

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