Ways To Cope When You Discover Your S.O. Has A Job, Not A Trust Fund

Believe it or not, working is not just for poor people. Sometimes other wealthy people work, too. That’s how they get their money! You may have read about people like this in a magazine, but it may come as a shock when you find out you’re dating one of them in real life. It might even seem like everything in your relationship has been a lie. But before you break up with your partner, take a deep breath. This might be fixable.

Acknowledge Your Disappointment

You can’t brag about your significant other’s party yacht now that you know it’s paid for with (blugch) work money. Do yacht stores even take work money? That’s just as disappointing as when you found out your debutant ball would be held at the Ritz, not the Waldorf. Honor that disappointment. Shout it from the top floor of the Prada flagship store until they quietly ask you to leave. It’s all part of the healing process.

Take The Day To Visit the Alps

Take the afternoon in the middle of the week to fly to the Swiss alps. Use this as an opportunity to have some alone time. Especially since your S.O. will be busy with “meetings” and “obligations” (which you just found out are not, in fact, code words for having an affair). Just try not to worry about what other secrets they’ll reveal, like that they didn’t go to boarding school or have never met the Dutch Royal Family.

Know That It’s Going To Take Time To Rebuild Trust

The healing process takes time. Acknowledge that even when things feel like they’re back to “normal,” you’re never going to have the same relationship you had before. But remember: While you can’t depend on your partner anymore, you can still depend on the money your grandfather left to your parents to leave to you. At least you can still trust your trust fund.

Remind Yourself Of The Things You Love About Them

There are probably quite a few things that you like about the person—like the fact that, at the end of the day, they do have money. Plus, this means they have “employees,” which are just people you tell what to do!

Be Honest

You probably feel like you don’t even know who this person is anymore. It’s important to have an open discussion in a safe space where you feel you can ask the questions you want answered. Questions like, “Was your family middle class?” and “Is your Rolex rented?”

Ask Yourself If It Still Feels Right

This honestly might not be a good fit for you. Do you really want to be with someone who knows what “budget” means (even in a corporate context)? Meditate on your feelings. You two are from different worlds. If you think you can make your relationship work despite your differences, then go for it! But if not, you might want to cut them out of your life. Just like that time your dad cut up your AmEx when you were 12.

And always remember: The person who doesn’t have a trust fund today might be able to bequeath a trust fund to their children tomorrow. And isn’t that what truly matters?

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