Hunting Care Bears: Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Friends, it’s time we talked about something serious. While we understand there are people out there who must hunt for survival and for socio-economic reasons (and we respect that when done in a humane and ethical way), there’s a specific kind of hunting that we simply cannot abide by: Hunting Care Bears. It’s wrong—no matter what those who do it say.

Many who hunt Care Bears will tell you that it’s to “control their natural population” because the CBs have “no known natural predators.” And while that may be true, we know these factions have ulterior motives. Care Bear parts and carcasses can be used for a variety of adorable home items. There’s brightly-colored Care Bare rugs, Care Bare meat pies (that basically taste like gushers), and Care Bear heads to mount on your wall for a unique living room display—to name just a few.  Not to mention they have those fluffy white bellies that are basically begging to be pierced with something sharp.

But the point still stands that they’re extremely vulnerable creatures. And we don’t know about you, but we’ve never once witnessed—or even heard of—Care Bears fucking, so we think the whole “controlling their population” line of reasoning is dubious at best. (Side note, if you have seen such an event, please tell us time of day and exact location. Thank you).

Basically, the next time you strap on your crossbow and break out the Care Bare bait (aka, a “free hugs” sign) think twice about it. Please.

Images: Pexels/American Greetings