What To Do With That Icelandic Elf You Accidentally Murdered
So you accidentally murdered one of Iceland’s beloved elves? Don’t panic. Unintentional elf slaughter happens. You were road tripping along the expansive, empty stretch of countryside, and after a taste of Black Death, Iceland’s signature schnapps, your Skoda wagon hit a bump in the road. Nope, it wasn’t another sheep. Luckily, there’s likely no one else around except a passing bus of Asian tourists. So after Weekend-At-Bernie-ing that elf (as you stand on your knees, of course) and waving as the bus drives by, you’re in the clear. Place that elf in your trunk and choose one of these five places to discard the body.
1. The Blue Lagoon
This is one of Iceland’s most popular tourist destinations, but everyone is 100% absorbed in their selfies, so you can easily pull a dead elf into the lagoon without anyone noticing. The milky bluish water is ideal for canvassing the elf’s body and the included silica face mask with your entry fee is great for your skin! Win-win!
2. The Sinkhole at the Top of Hagafell Mountain
Stick that little guy underneath your jumpsuit and take an ATV to the top of this mountain where a giant sinkhole awaits. Let a natural wonder of Iceland swallow up one of its very own mythical creatures. It’s almost poetic, isn’t it?
3. Inside the Abandoned DC Plane on Sólheimasandur
When this plane crashed on the beaches of Iceland, there were no fatalities. Or, so everyone thought. Change the course of Iceland’s history by planting the dead elf right inside the plane. It’ll be our little secret.
4. On the Shelf at a Souvenir Shop on Laugavegur Street in Reykjavik
An elf on a shelf isn’t just for Christmas! There are tons of souvenir shops along the main street in Reykjavik filled to the brim with overpriced garbage for you to take home to your loved ones. Your dead elf will be easily camouflaged amongst the bin of stuffed puffins.
5. The Top of the Basalt Stacks at the Black Sand Beach
These natural rock formations are an ideal location to toss a deceased elf. Most people will stand on the bottom few columns and snap their obligatory black sand beach photo, but don’t just stop there. Keep climbing up to where no one else will go. We can’t tell you exactly how to get down, but given we’ve told you what to do with a dead elf while vacationing, we’d think you’d be grateful enough. Sheesh.
Images: Unsplash, Images by the author