We Ranked The Most Lickable Tom Hanks Characters
Tom Hanks is widely considered the most likable man in Hollywood. But did you know he’s also one of the most lickable? Many, if not all of us, have had the urge to walk up to him and just drag our tongues over his adorable face. And since there’s a lot of different variables that go into that “lickable factor,” we’ve studied all his movies and ranked the most lickable Tom Hanks characters of all time. Enjoy!
10. Chuck Noland from Castaway
Seeing poor Chuck living alone on an island makes anyone with a heart want to lick his scraggly beard and wounds. While the taste of sea salt would be pleasant, you’d probably have to ignore the sand.
9. Jimmy Dugan from A League of Their Own
The rough grit from the unshaven Jimmy Dugan provides a number of flavors. Also, licking the face and body of Dugan would provide a hint of whiskey, the collective smells of ballpark concessions, and as much salty meat sweats as a human can produce.
8. Josh Baskin from Big
The childlike innocence of adult Josh Baskin makes the licking experience all the more enjoyable. He’d probably remark on how much licking tickles. Plus, he’s a kid trapped in an adult’s body, so you’d probably get the taste of some melted ice cream or other neglected food stains.
7. Woody from Toy Story
Woody’s perfectly smooth body would undoubtedly be pleasing to the tongue. The down side, however, is that you don’t know where Woody has been or what errant baby has already slobbered on him prior to your licking.
6. Larry Crowne from Larry Crowne
Licking Larry Crowne is just like watching the movie Larry Crowne: Inoffensive, but you don’t know why it’s happening.
5. Detective Scott Turner from Turner & Hooch
There has to be a reason why Hooch went out of his way to slobber on Scott Turner’s face every chance he got in this movie. Seriously, what makes Turner’s face so delectable? Only the dog knows … for now.
4. FBI Agent Carl Hanratty from Catch Me If You Can
Carl Hanratty is a staunch man of the ‘50s trying to survive the ‘60s. His divorced dad pores are probably gushing with sweaty apple pie, coffee, and cigarettes. He may not like a licking from you, but his body is full of flavor.
3. Capt. John Miller from Saving Private Ryan
Have you ever tasted history? It’ll absorb into you as you lick up the memories of D-Day while hearing John Miller plead for you to “Earn this!”
2. Forrest Gump from Forrest Gump
Licking Forrest Gump would taste like shrimp, a box of chocolates, and about 15 Dr. Peppers. He’d either like the experience or wouldn’t mind it, especially since neither one of you would taste like cigarettes.
1. David S. Pumpkins from SNL
Of all the characters Tom Hanks has ever played, David S. Pumpkins is hands down the most lickable, because he probably tastes like Halloween candy. ANY QUESTIONS???
Images: Unsplash, Twentieth Century Fox (Castaway), Columbia Pictures (A League of Their Own), Twentieth Century Fox (Big), Pixar, Universal Pictures (Larry Crowne), Touchstone Pictures (Turner and Hooch), DreamWorks (Catch Me), DreamWorks (Catch Me), Paramount Pictures (Forrest Gump), NBC