Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! This minisode is all about finance. I’m not sure why Stew wasn’t part of this one because he used to work in finance and he would probably have been a great guess. What even is Financial Awareness Day? Anyway… here we go.
Kicking things off with a tiny taste of Pink Floyd, we celebrate National Financial Awareness Day, as one of our co-hosts pretends to be Drew Carey and talks about sex cauldrons. You need to be aware of finances, even though Matt would rather we had no money and were all jamming out in a field naked.
Mack enlightens us on the origin of money, and how it was shells in the beginning, just like Demolition Man toilet paper. Shells were rare and impossible to duplicate. We segue into talk of penguin prostitution, as the birds trade smooth rocks for sex. Matt wishes we could still have a barter system and negotiate prices down. Mack can get free stuff like a Kelly Kapowski shirt, but that’s more the result of fame than bartering.
They talk tunics, and the fact that you can wear whatever you want in public s long as you own it. Mack thinks he’s pretty good with money, and as proof he presents the fact that he’s still here and doesn’t have a day job, and recalls having the meeting when he was 18 to inherit all his childhood earnings.
Matt took basic financial classes in school where he learned about the stock market, but he doesn’t think of himself as a frugal guy, especially when it comes to jeans and shoes and sunglasses. Mack is breaking in new shoes.
Mack’s financial advice to listeners is to understand what luxuries are and understand what you have to set aside. Matt never uses credit cards and doesn’t understand why people spend money they don’t have (just spitballing, but maybe they are broke interns!). Then he gets serious and chastises people who are broke but smoke cigarettes. The moral of the story is to send him money.
0:33-1:23 “Drew Carey” discusses his sex cauldron.
6:10-6:35 Mack remembers first learning about interest.
6:45-7:32 “The piece of paper meeting” when Mack came of age financially.
Here is a video game called tunic. It probably doesn’t have much to do with Matt’s garments:
Drew Carey apparently really does have a sex dungeon:
If you want a Kelly Kapowski T-shirt of your own, we got you: