Podcast Minisode – The Third of July (Annotated)
Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! I really appreciate that I don’t have to work on the actual Fourth of July, because our holiday minisode is the third of July. Except then there’s our Wednesday podcast. I guess I work after all. But that’s great! It’s all great!
Happy Third of July! It’s Independence Eve, so we’re picking the day before the holiday everyone else celebrates because we’re cool like that. Also because a normal full-length episode comes out Wednesday and Dan Fogler will be on it. Hey, they spoiled it, not me.
Matt points out the irony of fireworks being a Chinese thing used to celebrate American history, and Mack thinks about fingers being blown off. They compare the Fourth to Simon Bolivar Day (accurate) and Cinco de Mayo (not really). They suspect the Fourth used to mean more when the people who were alive in 1776 could still celebrate it, but now it’s more about food and fireworks.
Mack then brings up Bastille Day in France, saying one day to blow shit up is great. Matt isn’t a big fan of party day-drinking or the beach, so many typical 4th festivities are utterly lost on him. Mack talks a bit about trying to find places to see fireworks, while Matt tries to play cool like he prefers his cellphone to pyrotechnics, but then admits he finds it terrifying sometimes because it must be what a war looks like.
We learn a little bit about the firework risks Mack used to take, and how he used to always make friends with the effects guys on movie sets so he could learn how things exploded. He still has all his fingers. Is July Fourth the ultimate “Darwin Awards” holiday, with its focus on heavy drinking and explosions? Probably.
They mix up Apu from The Simpsons and Winnie the Pooh in trying to attribute a quote about blowing things up. Oh bother, come again.
One of Matt’s memories of seeing fireworks with his family involves a random old man in a trenchcoat trying to hold a kid that wasn’t his. This maybe further explains why Matt doesn’t always love fireworks. Also he gets frustrated sometimes trying to figure out when the grand finale of every show is, and thinks it’s wasteful and polluting. But it’s fun.
They both pick burgers as the best barbecue grill item, beating out hot dogs (contents freak Matt out sometimes) and chicken (no explanation; none needed). Neither Matt nor Mack has July Fourth plans, though Matt brings up a house party full of hipsters who would all recognize Mack, which brings up further memories of awkward party experiences.
Matt finally urges fans not to blow their fingers off, because you will need them to give the podcast five stars.
2:35-3:57 What Bastille Day is.
4:49-5:49 Why Matt is burned out on fireworks, and sometimes finds them terrifying.
8:20-9:22 Matt tells a disturbing tale about the old guy in a trenchcoat.
Here’s why Cinco de Mayo is not like July 4th:
Here’s how Simon Bolivar is a bit more closely tied to our own festivities:
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Image: 20th Century Fox
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