Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Swimmingly, even.
Yo dawg, it’s World Oceans Day! So it’s time to surprise you all with another minisode based on our favorite holidays, as we do. Matt got Mack a starfish, and Mack got Matt a glass of water to celebrate. Both of them hate the beach.
Matt doesn’t even eat seafood. Mack does, and he used to love the beach, but he was traumatized by a brother trying to drown him when he was nine. They try to count the world’s oceans. Matt’s disdain for the ocean comes from living on Long Island and being dragged there every week.
Since all oceans are connected, if you’ve been in one, have you been in them all, really? We think so. The guys discuss the origin of the Pacific Ocean’s name and how we know more about the surface of the Moon than the bottom of the ocean.
Mack has scuba’d and snorkeled and thought it was fine, but Matt was put off by seeing one eel. Mack recalls a cruise he took at age 13, when he was famous and everyone on the boat knew which room was his.
They speculate what might be deep down at the bottom of the ocean and conclude with some thoughts as to how you can celebrate today. Eating krill is an option, because podcasts are only listened to by pods of whales. Right?
2:57-4:01 Mack’s theory of how evolution is all about fleeing sharks.
7:45-8:19 Disney is buying all the oceans.
9:33-10:16 How people ask Mack for autographs on planes.
Okay, so this is the actual story of how Magellan–not Balboa–named the Pacific Ocean.
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Image: Columbia Pictures