I Marked My Husband With My Urine. Here’s Why

March 21, 2019 by , featured in Spiritual Wellness
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When you’re in love, you want to show the whole world how much you care for your partner. So when I got married to my husband, I felt that a traditional wedding ring wouldn’t be enough to express my feelings for him. That’s why I marked him with my urine.

Just like a cat tells the world they own a specific space by spraying it, I doused my spouse with my essence. At first, he protested, arguing that something that works for a cat is “completely impractical and unsanitary” for a human. But I strongly feel that we can learn a lot from the animal kingdom if we just listen. Plus, I really wanted to soak him in my pee.

marked with urine

Hear me out, okay?

When I tell people that I pee on my husband, and that’s why he reeks of the pungent odor of fermenting urine at all times, they automatically think it’s because of a sex thing. That couldn’t be further from the truth. There was nothing sexual about it (although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get off on it). Now that he’s been marked with my personal brand, I feel more secure in our marriage. I know that he’ll stay faithful to me—either out of love, or immense shame and embarrassment. Plus, I don’t have to worry about other women hitting on him, because he smells like pee-pee.

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Still not convinced?

For those of you who think this is weird, let me ask you a question: Is giving your husband a golden shower as an act of territoriality any weirder than getting a couples’ tattoo? Unlike tattoo ink, urine is completely natural and organic. Everything except the first few drops is sterile, so that actually makes micturating on your spouse more sanitary than wearing a traditional wedding band, which can attract germs. I don’t want ring-germs all over my spouse! My whizz is totally fine, though.

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It honestly feels amazing to get in touch with my primal side. It’s so liberating—for both myself and all of the bathroom stored up inside me. I suggest all couples try it. And if the thought of taking a leak on your partner repulses you, then maybe you’re just not in love enough.

marked with urine

Any successful marriage requires upkeep. Which means I need to keep on spraying my husband on a bi-weekly basis, no matter how much he insists it’s not necessary to mark him with urine or politely says “I don’t like this. Please stop.” But I love him far too much for that. Plus it’s hot AF and I can’t get off from regular stuff anymore.

Images: Pixabay, Pexels, Pexels, Pexels, Pexels


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