Sex Tips To Make Your Boyfriend Go, ‘Gross, Why Do You Want That?’
We’ve always been told that men crave sex more than life itself, but the truth is, things can grow stale for even the most red-blooded of guys. If you and your man are in a rut, maybe it’s time to try something outside the box. Who knows—he just might hate it, and that’s good, right? Better than apathy. Here’s a few of our favorite questionable sex tips. The kind that will leave you both uncomfortable and rushing to wash off all that sexy shame and regret.
1. Finger Each Other’s Belly Buttons For, Like, A While
They say that the belly button is one of the top 50 erogenous zones on the human body, so why not go to town on that sucker. Lay flat next to each other and, with your pointer finger, just poke and probe each other’s tummy knots until you cramp up. Trust us, he’ll have no idea what’s happening.
2. Role Play As Your Parents Fighting About Politics
There’s nothing better than make-up sex, right? But what if you and your boyfriend get along? Well, have you considered dressing up as your parents and getting into a heated argument about the state of politics in America? The debasement of civil discourse is definitely worrisome, but pretending to be your own folks in the bedroom while you hash out the horrible state of U.S. affairs could be just what the doctor ordered.
3. Make Sure The Dog Is Watching
If being watched is your kink, then this handy shortcut could bring back a little fire to your sex life. It’s a heck of a lot easier than trying to track down someone at the last minute to come over. Just lay out some dog treats or wet food on top of the bedspread and then get it on. Fido watching you get freaky is sure to make your man ask if everything is okay.
4. Cut Off His Pubes And Glue It To Your Face As A Fake Beard
Scissors. Super glue. And a handful of pubes. That’s all you need to take your sex life from stale to staggeringly confusing. By gluing your fellas’ pubes onto your face, you’ll be able to role play as a dude, a stranger, and a weird creep all at once. He may not know why you want to do this, but he sure as hell won’t be able to forget about it afterwards.
5. Fart A Lot
Butt stuff is definitely having a moment these days, so why not take your sex play to the next level by just farting constantly? Expelling that sexy ass gas will have him begging for relief any way he can get it. Most likely in another room.