Tag Archives: Dr Guru King

I’m not oblivious. I know it’s not always easy for my oceanic disciples to follow every single lesson laid out in my expansive collection of self-help literature/chant books/diet charts/underwater ashram chore schedules. We aren’t all millionaires — which is why I will never charge a flat fee for my guidance into the vestigial temple of …

When early ape arose from the shore of our great ocean womb, no longer could we protect our monkey eggs from the harshness of a dry environment. It was then that our vestigial tail bud tissue formed the pulpy genitalia we so cherish today. For snakes, this process involved unused limb flesh being repurposed into …