How To Actualize Your Healing With Wellness Therapy

Share this on
  • 21
    Shares

Fellow aquatic spawn, the world has never been more complicated. World Wide Webs are threatening our daily serenity as the country is led by Big Vaccine and lab coat hucksters brainwashing kids into throwing away their appendixes. There’s a lot of hustle and bustle even outside of our jazz-infested metropolitan cityscapes, making it not hard to feel like you’re going to burst.

It’s during these difficult times that I find it crucial for you to purchase my books, and most importantly: to follow my easy method for actualizing your mental and/or physical healing with wellness therapy.

Why is wellness therapy such an actual thing that exists and is good? Let me break it down in three easy to follow concepts:

  • Mammals deserve to be well.
  • Therapy helps your brain.
  • You need to actualize daily to make it happen.

I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t it enough to simply BE well?” I’m sorry but no; you have to actualize your healing if you want to experience REAL wellness. And you have to do this every day. I know that sounds daunting, but once you get into a pattern of actualization it will simply be a part of your routine.

If you still don’t believe me — all I ask is that you perform this one simple exercise. You can do it right here at your personal computing station:

  1. Close your eyes.
  2. Imagine your wellness.
  3. Now take away exactly half of your wellness.
  4. Answer this question: “Which half of your wellness did you take?”

You can’t answer that, can you? It’s not because you’re confused; there’s simply no way to choose which half of your wellness to sacrifice. This is why actualizing is so important to healing. With the full power of wellness, you don’t have to suffer an incomplete feeling of healing. You get ALL of the healing.

MORE FROM BUNNY EARS
How To Prevent Your Baby From Loving Your Au Pair More Than You

Now — it’s usually at this point that I hear the same projections of skepticism… and believe me, I’ve heard it all.

But how do you measure wellness?”

“What exactly are you talking about?”

Why are you bothering my family?”

I don’t understand a word of what you’re trying to tell me.”

People have called me “crazy” and a “liar” and a “dangerous idiot charging people money to hear him speak literal gibberish and disjointed spiritual phrases.” But none of that changes the hard truth of what actualizing your healing powers can do to the wellness center of your brain aura. No petty insult can prune the great coral tree of Jauulakish which emanates strength from inside all of our rib cages.

So to recap, all I ask is that you take the following steps every morning from now on:

  1. Stand in a sun-lit area of your house or apartment.
  2. Take several deep breaths (less than 50 but more than 3).
  3. Slowly exercise your healing until wellness fills at least 70% of your body.
  4. Release all of your sweat (NOT JUST SOME).
  5. Repeat ten more times.

And just like that, you’ve actualized your healing for FREE. From the goodness of my heart to your brain, I ask for nothing from you.

Please buy my book “Whale Healing” to see the complete wellness therapy exercise, including steps six through fifteen* omitted from above.

May you find full healing of your skin as well as everything your skin covers,

By “Dr.” Guru King Nartec Jeff Roberts

*Healing will not be actually actualized without steps six through fifteen.

Share this on
  • 21
    Shares

Join the Conversation

  1. Avatar
  2. Avatar

4 Comments

  1. I took away half my “wellness,” and, “well” I’m still doing pretty “well.” To answer your presumably rhetorical question, I removed the “Ness,” and it’s the most liberating experience of my life. My concerns about “Ness” (aka. Vanessa) were definitely dragging me down.

    As a mammal, I’m interested in the part of your book that focuses on the whole “May Vanessa Burn in Hell” question. Are many pages devoted to it?

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

How To Superglue Your Pores Shut To Keep Out Dirt And Oil


A Beginner’s Guide To Having A Wiccan Girlfriend


Why We Limit Our Children To One Hour Of Good Parenting A Day


Relationship Advice: How Do I Get A Daddy Like Santa?


I Marked My Husband With My Urine. Here’s Why


Cool Stuff to Buy

Stalk Us

logo
Home Lifestyle Pop Culture Wrestling Podcasts Videos About Us