Find A Therapist That Won’t Disagree With You
Making sure you have a therapist that won’t disagree with you is important. Finding one that will never disagree with you can feel next to impossible. But it isn’t hopeless. You can find that person you trust to never say no to you. You just have to know how to test the waters and make sure that you find the perfect yes-man. Everyone knows you go to a therapist to hear that you are fine and everything you do is right, not to feel attacked by words like “no” or “change your behavior patterns.”
There is nothing worse than opening up about what you do in your day-to-day life and hearing anything that negates you in the slightest. We never want you to have to worry about some “mental health specialist” saying “Now, wait, I don’t think that’s completely correct” or something else that essentially means you might be wrong. BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT FUCKING WRONG. OKAY, BRENDA?!
The less experienced the therapist or social worker has, the better, because they will probably not have the courage to say no confidently. If they have even a little bit of that courage, you can scare it right out of them pretty fast. Remind them that you are paying them. If they start to tell you not to stalk the Trader Joe’s cashier just because he said “Hi” instead of “Hello, how are you?” tell them it’s over and you want your money back, BRENDA.
Even if it’s the first five minutes of the session, they will shape right up and backtrack so fast that their head will spin. Just know that these new, nervous therapists that won’t disagree with you don’t stay new and nervous forever, so as soon as you notice them gaining confidence, get the heck out of there and find a new person who wouldn’t dare say no to you.
If your therapist mentions the need for “change,” “growth,” or “modification,” these are warning signs. You are not a Spotify playlist that can just be changed! You are a person who needs to love yourself, even if you are terrible. When you tell them about your hatred of people with hair better than yours, they need to tell you that you are right. Those people are awful for having such nice hairstyles, and you are perfect for hating them. If they say anything less than “You are 100% in the right,” kick them to the curb like I did with Brenda.
Remember, if you are angry or bothered by something, you are right. If something makes you sad, it is bad. If your therapist does not constantly make you feel happy, they are failing you. You go to a therapist that won’t disagree to feel better because you struggle with questioning whether you do the right thing. The therapist is there to help you stop questioning yourself and keep doing exactly what you are doing. If they question a choice that you made or a belief that you hold, then they are not just bad, they are the enemy. Obviously, you cannot be therapied by the enemy.
They are hired to help you. That is why people go to therapists. If they don’t help you by making you feel absolutely superior and correct in your actions, then they are just stealing your money. Some may tell you that the purpose of therapy is to grow and become a better person, but those are probably trying to attack you and dim your “always right, never wrong” light just like Brenda McDimsYourLight does.
Your mental health is important, and the only way to take care of that is by making sure you never have to deal with the negativity of hearing you may be in the wrong. Go forth, and find someone who always says “yes.” W know you can do it!
And if you see Brenda, tell her to go fuck herself.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…