You Have To Try This Amazing Mac and Cheese Recipe

February 19, 2018 by , featured in Food and Recipes
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I don’t remember why I walked into the Barnes and Noble that day. Maybe it was because it was raining and I didn’t have an umbrella. I never have an umbrella when I need one; You always thought that was a charming idiosyncrasy, but I think it belies a naivety – an unpreparedness for the harsh realities of the world – and that embarrasses me.

I ducked into the withering chain bookstore. I headed straight for the back corner of the store – to the New Age and Alternative Beliefs section – where we had our first kiss. We pretended we wanted to learn about crystals and astral projection, but we just wanted to learn about each other; to hear each other’s ideas, stories, hopes, and fears.

I wanted to know you. To sit so near to you, cross-legged on the floor, our denimed knees pressed together. To lean towards you and softly graze your lips with mine. You tasted sweet – like the grape Jolly Rancher you had just eaten – and your hair felt damp. It was raining that day too.

You were like an angel to me then, Beth, otherworldly, pure and yet so real… so human. I fell in love with you at that moment, and I believed you loved me too. Maybe I walked into the Barnes and Noble that rainy day a year later to revisit this memory. Perhaps I wanted to pay homage to the woman who taught me how to love, how to truly be seen; who encouraged me to follow my dreams and told me I meant so much to her.

But what did I see that day, Beth, my beauty, my muse? What did I see in the Barnes and Noble New Age and Alternative Beliefs section on this fateful day? A day that obliterated all days and all memories and shot through the core of my being, like a supernova, sending the shrapnel of my disillusionment mixed with bloody bits of charred flesh that used to be my body (that used to be my heart) flying through the store. These broken pieces of myself covering all the patrons, all the employees, all the books – books filled with beautifully crafted words woven into glittering tapestries of human experience from the beginning of time – with my splattering, sickening spray of blackened betrayal and agony?

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I saw you, Beth, sitting cross-legged on the floor in the back corner of the New Age and Alternative Beliefs section, reading aloud from “The Encyclopedia of Crystals,” his head in your lap, you stroking his hair, he absentmindedly caressing your thigh in a gesture of comfort and past intimacy. He stopped you and asked about the characteristics of selenite as your eyes flickered upward to mine and we were locked in an eternal second of panicked horror. I turned away and quickly left the store, running through the rain to my apartment building. I stopped at the store on the corner where I bought an umbrella. I haven’t seen you since that day, Beth, and I pray that I never do, but I always carry my umbrella now… just in case.

This is my favorite recipe. Beth never let me eat it because she’s allergic to Monsanto. But who cares about GMOs now? Who cares about anything anymore?

Ingredients:
1 box Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

Instructions:
Follow the instructions on the box.


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29 Comments

  1. A beautifully crafted journey into the issues of the heart. This brief but elegant glimpse into the experience of life and the agony of love is very thoughtful and oh so real.

  2. I didn’t have Kraft Macaroni and Cheese so I replaced it with Chef Boyardee Ravioli. Not the same. Stick to the recipe.

  3. I have tried this on both gas and electric stove tops. I can confirm. Delightful dish.
    There may be some variance in using a microwave though.

  4. Hmm this looks tasty but it sounds quite complicated and there are too many ingredients..could you please post simpler and faster recipes using seasonal ingredients for single dads like me? much appreciated!

  5. Awesome recipe, dude….or dudette. I’ve already shared it twice. Matter of fact, I think my kids might like this one. Throw a cut-up hot dog on there and some mustard….or hell, even ketchup, or catsup…..or grey poupon (Of course I looked up how to spell it without the capital letters.) A rebel. Just like this recipe. Peace!

  6. Fluid word choice, Fantastically written, and easily relatable (I too always carry an umbrella).

  7. Looks, folks, the picture is clearly Kraft Velveeta® Shells & Cheese, not Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I… I don’t know whether I can even believe in Beth anymore.

    1. Forgive the glaring inconsistency…I must have been too overwhelmed with grief to notice. But never doubt – Beth is real. She’s REAL, DAMMIT! AND SO WAS OUR LOVE, ONCE!
      [sobs uncontrollably for literally hours on end]

  8. I have to say your writing is like a warm sweater on a cold fall night, it’s warm, inviting and leaves the reader just wanting to read more of your literary genius!

  9. Kelly. You’re ridiculous and I love you. Thank you for making me smile and reminisce.
    #dirtypop
    #dirtypopandcheese

  10. One box of Annie’s Macaroni and cheese has 675 calories while an entire box of Kraft Macaroni and cheese 1,387 calories.

  11. I’m very impressed with the simplicity of expressions that seem so whimsical & turn quickly to profound truth. Kelly has a unique talent to pull the reader into her journey and defies you not to be moved. Her talent as a writer should not be overlooked.

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