Things I Found While Rooting Through Vince McMahon’s Garbage
Like many professional wrestling fans, I often wonder what makes WWE CEO and eccentric billionaire Vince McMahon tick, so I decided to go straight to the source and dig through the trash at his massive Stamford, Connecticut home to find out. This is what I discovered.
1. A Copy of His Will and Testament
Vince McMahon is the face of fitness. With his glistening muscles and unmatched constitution, it seems like he’ll outlive us all. But this didn’t deter the genetic jackhammer from writing up a will. It’s worth noting that in this version, his daughter, Stephanie McMahon, is just listed as “Daughter?” Meanwhile, his son, Shane McMahon, has been crossed out and Triple H’s name is written in its place in what looks like Triple H’s handwriting.
2. A Kid Rock CD That’s Been Played So Many Times That It Doesn’t Work Anymore, Along with a Receipt from Sam Goody for the Same Kid Rock CD
We all know Vince McMahon loves Kid Rock. Suffice it to say, it was no surprise when I found a copy of Kid Rock’s 2001 album Cocky in Vince’s garbage can. The CD had been played so many times that it was no longer functional. There was also a receipt from Sam Goody for the same album—presumably to replace the old one he tossed. Now, this is unusual for a few reasons. Most Sam Goody stores closed down in the mid-2000s when the company went bankrupt. So, Vince had to have gone FAR out of his way to buy a physical copy. Also, why didn’t he just buy a digital version? Is he the only person keeping this Sam Goody open? Why doesn’t he like Kid Rock’s far superior album Devil Without a Cause? None of these questions were answered by the remaining items I found.
3. The Brooklyn Brawler
I found famous WWE jobber and former road agent Steve “The Brooklyn Brawler” Lombardi near the bottom of Vince’s garbage. When I asked Steve what he was doing there and why Vince threw away a perfectly good 58-year-old man, Steve shrugged his shoulders and said, “What can I say? Vince is a weird dude.”
4. A Bag of Money, Because He’s Running Out of Places to Put It
Between the billion dollar Fox deal and the 10-year contract with the Saudis, Vince has a ton of extra money. In fact, he has so much that he’s literally running out of places to put it, so he’s started just throwing the excess in the trash. The Brooklyn Brawler was right, Vince McMahon is a weird dude. But I guess it explains the Sam Goody stuff.