This Fall’s Must Have Item: A BabyBjorn For Your Mini Pony

August 6, 2019 by , featured in Lifestyle
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Everyone knows that today’s hottest ponies are so mini that their cute little legs are adorably non-functional. That’s why we swear by the Gotta-Lug-Her Mini Pony by BabyBjorn. If you buy one mini pony BabyBjorn this year, it should be this one.

Gotta-Lug-Her is the ONLY mini pony BabyBjorn that really gets mini ponies and their tiny needs. There’s plenty of expansion space for their fat little bellies, and it has a built-in oat pouch for snack time. And the center of the contraption is lower than the typical model so that their majestic manes don’t blow in your face.

But perhaps our favorite Gotta-Lug-Her design feature is that your animal’s legs are free from restraint, so it can still kick your enemies. Janice won’t be taking the last unbruised organic apple from you again any time soon. There’s a horse strapped to your chest now! Sure, its tiny legs can’t support the weight of its comically large body, but boy can it still kick Janice in the tits.

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We swear once you try the Gotta-Lug-Her you’re going to wonder how you ever lived without it. We mean, really, what were you doing before? NOT bringing your mini-pony to your sister’s wedding? Then no one could have enjoyed her enthusiastic neighing during the ceremony.

There’s no better way to show off your mini pony. Trust us. We’ve tried everything and now we have this big pile of dead ponies at the office that our neighbors won’t stop complaining about.*

*No ponies were hurt in the making of this article. They died painlessly.

If you liked this, you’ll probably ALSO like All Of The Ways Your Pet Hedgehog Has A Far Better Life Than You Ever Will and also probably The New Yoga Is Jogging Until You Find A Corpse.

 


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