Beautiful Places In The World To Wake Up On Purpose This Time
Travel is the most rewarding experience that we, as humble inhabitants of this majestic planet, can bestow upon ourselves. From breathtaking natural wonders to awe-inspiring feats of civilization, almost every place on Earth is unique enough to be considered a worthy destination, especially if you consciously set out to go there. Many people will have you believe that it’s not about the destination at all but the journey to get there. I say as long as you made it there in one piece, who cares how it happened?
As someone who has seen a great deal of the globe and possibly beyond, here are the three places that made me exclaim “Oh, my god, this is the most magical place on Earth!” just moments after I exclaimed “Oh, my god, how the hell did I end up here?”
Milford Sound, New Zealand
This mountainous fjord, widely featured in the scenic panoramas of The Lord of the Rings, will truly take your breath away. Like, in a way that maybe results in the local medical professionals legally declaring you dead for a full four and a half minutes.
After I came back to my body, I could fully take in the expanse of rich greenery and ethereally mirrored waterways as the doctors asked me where I was visiting from and if they could call anyone for me. I told them I had never been to England before and didn’t even know how long I’d been there because I am not good at recognizing accents.
After a Xanax and glass of pocket champagne, or what I like to call “retracing my steps,” I pieced together that, seemingly moments before, I had been at my buddy’s house in Brooklyn to test a theory we had about dropping Xanax into champagne having the same effect as Pop Rocks and Pepsi. He ended up in Zhangjiajie, China. He said it’s amazing, too, but I can’t vouch for that, so: fjords!
Imagine yourself waking up in the small village of Oia; stepping out onto a wide, welcoming balcony; and frantically looking around to discover you’re on a building 200 feet above some body of water, all but dangling from the side of a cliff. The sunrise over the Aegean Sea in that moment is something you’ll never forget, even after you polish off whatever open containers are lying around.
Years later, I would find out that Meg’s bachelorette party was in Athens, Georgia. It’s much cheaper to get to, apparently. Everyone had a great time despite me heading 5,000 miles in the wrong direction.
To be honest, this one is actually not ringing a bell, but I did wake up once in my own bed with several toes missing and a boarding pass from Juneau to Tucson crumpled up inside of my mouth, neither of which are cities I live in or have ever lived in. Seven days had passed since I remembered tucking myself in for an early night, and had it not been for the missing toes, I might have otherwise assumed the boarding pass belonged to someone else and simply ended up in my mouth by happenstance, even though it had my name on it. I’m only mentioning it because I was hoping that if one of you decide to check it out, you could look around for the toes and get back to me. I really do miss those toes.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…