Butt Chic: The Best Tushy Tattoos of 2019
Ink is beautiful. Get yourself a new butt tattoo in 2019 with the help of Bunny Ears’ exclusive fashion guide. You’re totally welcome.
Adorning your butt cheeks with this beautiful butterfly is not only classy, unique, and indicative of high self-esteem, it is also a work of moving art. By flapping your butt cheeks together, it looks as if this delicate creature is taking flight.
Sanskrit You Think Means “Namaste” But Actually Spells “Barbecue”
The best way to inform others of your worldliness is by getting a foreign language tattooed onto your butt, and the best part about foreign languages is that you don’t have to bother finding out what the letters spell out. Does it mean “peace” or “a fish’s cloaca?” “Tranquility” or “small, dirty man made of potatoes?” It hardly matters!
Two Hand Turkeys (One For Each Cheek)
What better way to immortalize your child’s precious kindergarten artwork than permanently injecting ink into your ass? Your child worked hard on those hand turkeys, and you were thinking of just slapping them onto the fridge, crushing their self-esteem forever? The only way to show your kid you truly appreciate their talent is through the medium of eternal butt tattoo.
Native American Weeping Softly Over His Culture Being Appropriated For Dumb Tattoos
We’ve taken everything from the Native Americans: their lives, their land, and now, at long last, we can destroy their dignity as well! Vaguely tribal tattoos don’t go nearly far enough to appropriate and disrespect their culture; you must place the visage of an elderly Native American on your butt, a single tear rolling down his (and your!) cheek as he realizes that white Coachella attendees intend to continue to heap indignity upon indignity.
[Note from the graphics department: You don’t pay me enough to be this racist.]
The Quaker Oatmeal Guy Winking And Saying “Thicker Than A Bowl Of Oatmeal.”
There’s only one thing Quakers appreciate more than teetotalism: ass. Thicc, meaty ass. Celebrate the Quaker’s pro-ass attitude (or, as it’s known within the Quaker community, “assitude”) with this picture of the Quaker Oatmeal guy acknowledging your juicy butt with a knowing wink.
The Pizza Box Guy Winking And Saying “That’s A Spicy Meatball!”
You bust your ass all day being a boss babe, and you deserve a tattoo that recognizes that your butt is one spicy meatball. Treat yourself.
[Note from the graphics department: You pay me just enough to be this racist.]
A Large Likeness Of Garfield
Garfield is the archangel of the golden age of newspaper comics. He began the trend of what is known as the “butt-eye face” style of art in the comics industry. Two supple, firm eyes placed tightly together on an orange face are not only highly expressive but extremely ass-like. Naturally, you should place this cartoon cat’s homage to butt upon your own butt, creating a sort of Garfield butt-face-on-a-butt inception situation. Bonus: When you clench your cheeks, you’ll make him look even more smug.