Bunny Ears Essentials: Abiogenesis
Welcome to Bunny Ears Essentials! Today, our topic is abiogenesis, the origin of life in the form of simple organic compounds that arise from inorganic or non-living substances. Abiogenesis likely occurred over 3.5 billion years ago on Earth. (Don’t come at us with your panspermia hypothesis bullshit!) But don’t be fooled by how long it’s been—abiogenesis is totally in and a total must-have.
As we remember from some Star Trek episode, life can be either carbon-based or silicon-based. Here on Earth, it’s the former, but we’ve yet to nail down the exact chemical process by which life occurred. It has something to do with the formation of phospholipid bilayers, a phrase we learned in Bio 103 that might apply here. Abiogenesis is hard to study because the chemical makeup of the Earth 3.5 billion years ago was very different from what we see today. That’s what makes abiogenesis so cutting edge and rare. You need abiogenesis in your life. You need abiogenesis for your life. Thank it and not your precious “god.”
Simple, single-cell bacteria likely emerged here on Earth through natural chemical processes, and life became more complex from there on. That’s why abiogenesis is totally essential, especially this summer! Because our life is dying off! Abiogenesis will probably only become trendier and more essential as we humans and many other complex organisms die off and leave a void that can be filled with new life forms that evolve over billions of years. Abiogenesis could even be happening right now on other planets, but only time and Elon Musk’s elite space colonists will tell.
You heard it here first: God is out, abiogenesis is in. (No, they both can’t exist. Stop trying to please everybody with your beliefs like a common belief whore and pick a side with the rest of us.) How do you get abiogenesis in your life? Good news! You already have it! It’s the most essential thing in your life! Bow to abiogenesis! Write it psalms and books and odes! All hail abiogenesis!