Breathing Exercises To Use In Case You Get Buried Alive Someday

Anxiety can often get the better of us, which is why we must always strive for complete control over the organic machine that is our body. The crux of this control is the act of receiving oxygen, something we should all hope to master in case we are one day buried alive — these breathing exercises should help with that.

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Known in yoga as nadi shodhana, alternate nostril breathing involves holding your thumb over one nostril, and then, at the peak of inhalation, switching sides to exhale from your ther nostril. This unites the left and right sides of the brain, centering you as you struggle to break free from the canvas tarp wrapped several times around your body.

Box Breathing

This is as basic as meditative breathing exercises get, making it easy to remember even when you are screaming for life, your wails a mere whisper under the packed dirt 30 miles from any sign of help. All you have to do is inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, wait for a count of four, and repeat until you feel calm or go unconscious from lack of oxygen. Concentrate on keeping your pace even as dust and spiders begin making their way into your final resting place.

Belly Breathing

Slightly more advanced than the previous exercise, belly breathing is a great way to dissolve stress if you have the time to do it, and you have all the time in the world now. Assuming you have the space to move your arms, put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other hand on your chest. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Breathe out through pursed, dehydrated, and trembling lips. Feel the hand on your belly go in, and use it to push all the air out. Repeat 5–10 times, taking your time with each breath. Try not to think about how every extra second you take to calm yourself is one fewer second you have to escape, assuming escape is even an option.

60-Second Breath Work

Don’t have a lot of time to calm down, perhaps because you were recently dragged from your warm bed, beaten, and shoved face down into a rough-hewn wooden box before being tipped headfirst into a compact vertical grave? This is the buried alive breathing exercise for you! Simply take a long, deep breath through your nose, then exhale through your nose three counts longer than your inhalation. Repeat for 60 seconds, and you’ll hardly even notice the blood rushing toward your head as it presses violently against splinters and dirt.

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