bunnyears

…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…

bunnyglow: The Radioactive Drink That Makes You Radiant

Here at Bunny Ears, we know that keeping up the required skin care routine is a real time investment. By law, the time we spend cleansing, toning, moisturizing, massaging, milking, praying, ritual dancing, and on and on can feel like such a waste. We’d much rather spend that time growing our careers and spending time with our families, and we know you would, too.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you could just drink your skin care? We know you’re already drinking your toner, but that’s just because it gives you a wicked buzz. What if you could do that and improve your skin at the same time? Now, you can, with bunnyglow, the radioactive drink that makes you radiant.

Bottled only from the finest mountaintop toxic waste dumps, bunnyglow is skin care you can drink. Topical skin care can only go so far, but a daily dose of the minerals from our exclusive reservoir of nuclear byproducts transform your skin at its deepest level, fighting the effects of aging and improving overall skin tone.* The ionized particles or whatever probably fight free radicals or some shit.** We don’t know how it works, but the point is, you’ll glow from the inside out or your money back.***

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At just $612 a bottle, you can’t afford not to make the switch to lasting luminescence. The best part is that, while other skin care products may contain harsh chemicals that irritate your skin, bunnyglow is technically all-natural. Its side effects, of which we’re required by law to inform you, are limited to nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, spontaneous bleeding, headache, fever, failure of a number of vital organs, and one extra eye at most. At most. Clinical trials right here in the Bunny Ears office resulted in not a single death that could be definitively proven to be caused by bunnyglow, and the survivors have never looked better.

But don’t take our word for it. Just listen to some of these satisfied bunnyglow believers.

“Just one bottle of bunnyglow every morning gives me everything I need to look and feel my best. I’m even losing weight, thanks to the nonstop shitting! I’ve never felt so light and dizzy. I’m never going back to my old skin care routine.” –Karma, 31

“Watch this. Cool, huh? I can do that on command now. Thanks, bunnyglow!” –Enmity, 24

bunnyglow isn’t just for women! Not only do the ladies love my new natural incandescence, I no longer have to shave because I’ve lost all of my facial hair. It’s a real time-saver!” –Dane, 33

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“If anything, I feel that my extra eye is a bonus.” –Jessa, 26

So what are you waiting for? Click on over to the Bunny Ears store and get your bunnyglow on! For a limited time, we’re offering a month’s supply of bunnyglow for only $15,000, a savings of over $3,000! (Our testing shows you likely won’t need more than a month.) All you have to lose is your time.****

*These statements have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
**They will kill you.
***Go fuck yourselves.
****And your kidneys.

Images: Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pexels

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