This Crazy Game Of Thrones Theory Will Show How Desperate We Are For Clicks 

December 11, 2021 by , featured in Pop Culture
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Game Of Thrones is nearly over. But those sweet, sweet Game Of Thrones clicks are not — so we have a shocking theory about how it ends! This is going to sound crazy, but hear us out: What if, after Jaime pushed Bran out the window in the first episode, the whole series has just been his fever dream while he languishes in a coma?

We know, we know. That’s really out there. But here’s what makes it brilliant: We just have to string you along for about 500 words regardless of whether it makes any sense. Then you’ll either share this because you don’t know the show well enough to dispute our nonsense, or you’ll share it because you know the show so well that you want to score pathetic nerd cred for debunking us. We win either way! Plus, we’re basically only taking the words of Reddit’s u/dabos_baeworth and rewriting them juuust enough so that we can make money without it technically being plagiarism!

Okay, so here’s how it either works or doesn’t work on a level so infuriating that you’ll have to make everyone you know click on it just so they can understand your anemic geek rage. In episode three of season two, Maester Luwin says “These are dreams, Bran, nothing more,” but Bran replies “No. My dreams are different.” We all thought this was foreshadowing his powers, but what if he meant that his dreams were different because they were literally creating the world we’re seeing? It makes sense when we say “It makes sense when you think about it” with such authority that you don’t actually think about it, huh? Luwin goes on to tell Bran that dragons and giants and whatnot are all dead and gone, but Bran later meets them … or does he dream them into existence? It has to be the latter, because there’s literally no other reason for that dialogue to exist.

This is not that scene. We hope that pisses you off.

There are many more plots we can misremember and dialogue we can quote out of context, but we’ll just leave you with this: Brandon Stark is an anagram for both “Dank Star Born” and “And Stark Born” because, in Brandon’s mind, the star of a dank dream has been born, and that star is a Stark. You’d best prepare yourself for a series that ends with Bran waking up in Winterfell and telling Ned Stark about the incredible dream he’s just had, and if we’re wrong, well, we already got the Game Of Thrones clicks that are currently fueling the entire internet economy, so who gives a shit?

Check back next week for our theory about how Ser Pounce is Anzac Acai or whatever that stupid nerd garbage is called!

Images: H.B.O.

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