Professional Wrestling Moves To Help You Get What You Want On Black Friday
We all know that the average WWE Superstar’s signature move serves two functions: One, to win matches, and two, to help them acquire the hottest deals on the world’s biggest shopping day, Black Friday. In this article, we’ll break down the best kicks, flips, and general maneuvers to help you attain super sweet sale items in the middle of a shopping mall riot. Let’s get started!
1. Aleister Black’s Rebound Moonsault
Aleister Black’s rebound moonsault is one of the most impressive moves on WWE television today, but did you know it can also be used to get the last discounted Nintendo Switch from your local Best Buy? While scrambling for deals, simply perform a running moonsault off a shelf near the Nintendo Switch display. While the crowd is distracted by your athletic prowess, send your designated shopping partner to grab all those low-priced Nintendo consoles. Easy! Plus, no one (usually) gets hurt.
2. Daniel Bryan’s “Yes” Kicks
Daniel Bryan’s “Yes” Kicks are a great move for when you need to whittle down your opponent’s stamina with a few well-placed swings to their sternum. However, also consider using them to kick small, non-breakable items into your shopping cart or basket. Note: Daniel Bryan’s “Yes” Kicks should only be used to kick small-to-medium sized objects a few feet from a shelf into your cart. Only attempt to roundhouse kick larger items, like televisions and refrigerators, if you are Braun Strowman-size or bigger.
3. Rey Mysterio’s Slide Splash
This new addition in the Rey Mysterio arsenal can be used to slide under aisles at your local Costco. This will save you tons of time while others are running around the aisles like chumps.
4. Becky Lynch’s Disarm-Her
Becky Lynch’s Disarm-Her is one of the most devastating submission maneuvers in all of WWE. With the move’s wrenching action and increased leverage, it also works great on car doors and trunk lids. Just think of “The Man!” while you’re attempting to place all of your recently purchased goods into your automobile for easy transport. Also, you can of course just use this move on actual people when needed. Just make sure mall security isn’t close by!
5. Shinsuke Nakamura’s Rope Taunt
Shinsuke Nakamura’s rope taunt won’t help you obtain any deals, but you’ll feel incredibly triumphant doing it while hanging onto the checkout counter as all your hot bargains get rung up. YEAOH!