ICP’s ‘Clown Jewel’ Officially Going Head-To-Head With WWE’s ‘Crown Jewel’

October 23, 2019 by , featured in Wrestling
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As a lifelong fan, I can confidently say that the past few weeks have been one of the most exciting periods in wrestling since the Summer of Punk. RAW, SmackDown, NXT, AEW, Impact, and now, ICP. That’s right, the Insane Clown Posse is throwing their bucket hats into the ring and putting on their own wrestling/clown-infused event. The craziest part is they’re going head-to-head with WWE’s Crown Jewel, with their event Clown Jewel.

Much like any niche community, a big part of being a side-show freak is ardently defending your posse. No matter how insane, or how clown, they may be. You stick to your posse like a magnet, regardless of how magnets work. So I’ve grown accustomed to defending ICP in the past, and this situation is no different. Many are already mocking Clown Jewel, and as usual, mocking Juggalos in general. Well, I’m here to tell you that Clown Jewel won’t just be the better show: It’s also the morally superior option.

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The Choice: Easy

Right off the bat, there are a myriad of scandals that make Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia less appealing than Clown Jewel in Springville, Indiana. Additionally, if you care about the environment, it’s worth noting that Crown Jewel will require planes to transport the talent. At Clown Jewel, however, all of the talent will be able to travel together in one small car. If that still doesn’t entice you, take a gander at some of the matches on their card:

The Card

  • Main Event: Doink the Clown vs. Joaquin Phoenix as “The Joker”*
  • ICP vs. The Oddities
  • Dink vs. Hornswoggle

*Note, the real Joaquin Phoenix will not actually be in attendance. But the dude who does him is very, very good.

I Get Your Hesitation

Look, I get why one may be adverse to throwing on a red nose and showing up at the Gathering of the Juggalos. I’ve seen some weird shit in my time at ICP events. I’ve seen a one-legged man attempt to play kickball. There was the baby who gave a lecture on quantum physics and the woman who drank Faygo until her skin turned orange. Legend has it that ICP got their name from fans showing up to their events and saying, “I see pee,” because there was pee everywhere.

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The point is, while I’ve seen a lot of urine at these things, I’ve also seen a lot of love. ICP is open to any and all (so long as your face is painted). We can’t say the same for WWE’s Crown Jewel. And sure, Crown Jewel may have ex-UFC stars and ex-pro boxers, but Clown Jewel has ex-cons! And lots of them. And personally, I find them way more interesting and fun to camp with.

Images: WWE, Amazon


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3 Comments

  1. Awesome that you’ve got ICP’s back but what a load of horse shit that “ICP got their name from fans showing up to their events and saying, “I see pee,” because there was pee everywhere.” I can only assume you were attempting to be funny!!
    And “ICP is open to any and all (so long as your face is painted)” probably only a quarter of members at icp shows wear face paint!! MJL

    1. My man, it’s all love over here. We write jokes, and several of our writers are die hard juggalo for life, go to the gathering, still drinking faygo and representing the D kinda people. You gotta embrace the tropes and the jokes sometimes.

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