Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday Mackalacka Clucklin happy birthday to you! Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Is it really Mack’s birthday today? Because I sing that song every day, so I’ve lost count of the actual calendar day. I could just google “macaulay culkin birthday” but I’m not allowed to use the computer anymore. Maybe I should actually listen to the podcast and find out.
The show begins with “Paul McCartney,” whose birthday was back in June so that’s weird. Matt tries to get him to dmit to killing John Lennon, but he won’t. Today is actually Mack’s birthday, and Chris Pine’s – funnily enough, they are the exact same age. They have met and acknowledged this. Matt shares a birthday with Artie Lange, Luke Perry, and Eleanor Roosevelt.
Mack is one of those guys who spends birthdays by himself, but this year he’s going to Medieval Times in Toronto to support the Green Knight. He self-describes as the best and worst Medieval Timesgoer, and Matt says he’s the same way at movies. But maybe just during the previews? He likes to heckle trailers by shouting stuff like “No you didn’t!” Matt recalls a recent temptation to heckle an Imax movie at the science museum.
But Mack does that kind of heckling on things like New Orleans ghost walks as well.
Recalling birthdays past, Mack didn’t have super-lavish ones as a famous kid, but cute, Party City streamers and balloons type stuff. What about 40th birthdays and such? Matt wants to hire Everclear to play at his bash. Mack now schemes to beat him to it, and he wants Saved by the Bell‘s Ed Alonzo (whom he calls “Alfonso”) to do hand magic. He used to throw huge parties for Kieran at his apartment, converting the second bathroom into a bar.
Best birthday gift ever? He doesn’t know, and maybe that’s the problem. He doesn’t understand the idea of designated days for giving gifts. Matt tracks who gets him what and feels obliged to match. Strings being attached are an issue for both of them, implied or otherwise.
But then Mack reveals what he wants this year, and it is a big ask. But you’ll have to hear it and interpret it for yourself.
1:30-2:31 When Kevin McCallister met Captain Kirk, and Artie Lange’s not dead.
4:05-5:05 How Mack defuses people who get mad at his trailer heckling
10:56-11:22 What Mack wants for his birthday this year
-Mack likes the Green Knight. Matt likes the Black and White Knight. Let’s see who wins:
-Ed Alonzo is indeed an accomplished magician these days:
-This is a trailer for the movie Threesome, but D.B. Sweeney isn’t in it.