Self Care Tip: Throw Yourself A Birthday Every Day This Year

February 25, 2018 by , featured in Spiritual Wellness
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With so many things to keep track of, what with your travel Instagram account and hiring someone to maintain your travel Instagram account, it’s easy to neglect the most essential thing in your life – yourself. That’s right, you are the most precious gift you’ve ever received, and if you don’t take the time to reward yourself and sing the song of triumph that is you, who is going to do it? Certainly not your travel Instagram person. She only does Instagram. No, the only person who is going to take care of you is you.

Now, we know you’ve probably heard all about the importance of self-care from your therapist, but what advice do they give you beyond that? “Find a hobby.” “Maintain a schedule of planned activities.” “Remember to shower.” Quite frankly, all that stuff sounds boring as hell. Self-care shouldn’t be a list of routine maintenance checks, like the kind for which your driver is always asking reimbursement. Self-care should be a celebration, and what’s the best kind of celebration? That’s right – a birthday party.

“But my birthday has already come and gone!” you may be saying, or, “My birthday isn’t for months!” That’s the beauty of self-care. It doesn’t have to be for any other occasion than your continued happiness. And if you really think about it, every day is your birthday, because each new day marks the birth of the New You, your best self. With that in mind, why couldn’t you throw yourself a birthday party every single day this year? The only thing standing in your way is your own fear of living a life too glorious and self-actualized.

“Won’t that cost a lot of money?” you’re probably asking, and the answer is an emphatic yes. But no price is too high a cost to pay for self-care, and we’ve put together a helpful list of ways you can keep your birthdays fabulous but manageable.

Daily Birthday Best Practices

  • Host the party in your own home at least three days out of the week, but no more than four. Renting out an expensive club, banquet hall, or amusement park is an absolute must, but it only needs to be done every other day to keep your birthdays from becoming rote.
  • Send your friends electronic invitations rather than print. This will save you both money and time, and your friends will appreciate your cleverness. Your Instagram person can help with this.
  • Set up one of those “birthday charities” on Facebook, with the proceeds going towards your next birthday. Every day.
  • Require your servants to learn magic tricks. Why hire a birthday clown when you can use your in-house staff?
  • Do cupcakes instead of cake-cakes. The cupcake trend has brutally passed, and any gourmet cupcakery that managed to remain open will be so grateful for your custom that they will probably cut you a deal on pricing. Also, for purely practical reasons, cupcakes take up way less space and are less threatening to you and your guests’ keto diets than a whole cake.

Be prepared to meet some initial scorn from your friends and family when you announce your bold new “every day is my birthday” self-care regimen, but rest assured. Once they all see the benefits of indulging yourself with an expensive party every day of the week, and the joy it brings you, they’ll all eat hats full of crow and follow suit. Pretty soon, your schedule will be so full of birthdays that you simply won’t have any time for the things that used to make you sad: such as your job, paying taxes, or having to face the mirror again today (every day is a prison).


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7 Comments

  1. Year 30 of my life has been incredibly unkind to me, this is what I needed. Happy Birthday to me everyday motherfuckers! *sticks 30 candles in my strawberry knock off poptart* Here’s to you, you wise SOB *raises Kool-Aid Jammer in a toast*

  2. I felt really hopeful until about fifteen lines in where you mentioned “friends” and “family”. Now the left side of
    my brain hurts and it is spreading to the other side as I write.

  3. I already partake in the birth-year-hipster-cult-trend. #brethren 🤘🏻 You have to go the extra mile and tell 10% of people it’s your birthday each month and make every month truly a birth month.

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