A Quick Guide To Using Ebay, Completely Unrelated To My Eviction Notice
You’ve probably considered using eBay to sell items at one point or another, but felt too intimidated to dip your toe in. So many fees and parameters! And how do you know what things are worth? Well, it just so happens that I’m currently in a place in my life where my eBay habits have become more … aggressive. Don’t get me wrong—I’m a responsible American and pull my weight. I just get behind sometimes. Not every financial decision is going to pay off. IT’S CALLED TAKING RISKS, KAREN, AND IT IS A NORMAL PART OF EVERY SUCCESSFUL INVESTOR’S PORTFOLIO.
I digress. But trust me, I have so many first-rate tips for using eBay, regardless of how many envelopes with large, red-rubber “URGENT” stamps I currently have stacked in my foyer.
First, Accurate Pricing Is Key
A lot of people are terrible at appraising the value of their stuff. For example, how much is this antique ceramic dishware worth? Or these placemats? Or this couch? Really, how much do you think it might go for? How much would you pay for it? Wait, what was the question? Oh yeah—appraisals. In terms of getting a fair price for your stuff, just search for similar items on the site and see what they’ve sold for. Oh, shit—lamps only go for how much?! Even nice ones?
Take Good Pictures
Now that you know what sort of price your item is currently going for—and that a lot of really, really primo stuff is being sold for way, way less than what you expected (Seriously. $35 for a gently-used, restaurant-grade blender? Like what the actual fuck?), you’ll now want to take good pictures. Make sure there’s plenty of light so your camera/the five-year-old phone you recently downgraded to can pick up the details. These days, that usually means going out into the apartment complex hallway at 2 A.M. and hoping nobody sees me taking pictures of all my silverware.
Also, you want to be friendly and descriptive in your listing. Not too descriptive, though. You probably don’t want to mention that you’re selling your great-grandmother’s wedding ring that has been in your family for generations, and the deep, deep shame you’re currently feeling because of it. Maybe don’t mention you’ve been eating ramen for a month and your teeth are starting to fall apart. Maybe don’t —
Oh crap, they’re towing my car. I’ll get back to you if they don’t cut off my internet in the meantime.