bunnyears

…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…

All-Natural Cures For Depression That Are Just Bubble Baths

The concept of “self-care” has a rich and storied history. It began in mental health circles as, like, setting reminders to at least try to brush your teeth when you can’t get out of bed for two weeks. So boring! According to the top spiritual health and wellness gurus, what you really need to break you out of your funk is a nice spa day. A little pampering can go a long way if you somehow find the will to wash a few towels first. The best part is it’s completely drug-free, leaving your maladapted brain chemistry intact so you can enjoy every sensation, at least insofar as you can. Just find your symptom below and start soaking the sad away!

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness

Does life feel like a dumb French movie, slow-motion and black-and-white? Does every day feel the same, with no forward momentum, nothing to look forward to? Do you feel like you just keep falling deeper and deeper down a hole as the darkness overtakes you? What you need is some zing! Get in that tub and try a citrus-y, minty sugar scrub. The acidic fruitiness will cut straight through that fog, and the tingle of the mint means you’re feeling something, if only for a moment.

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Inability to Enjoy Things That Used to Make You Happy

You used to have such a full, rich life. You played guitar. You painted. You had friends, lovers, and you relished nothing more than kicking their asses at trivia night. What happened? You don’t wanna do any of that anymore. You left your girlfriend because she was better off without you. Your friends try, but their words and hugs are blocked by the force field of your heart. All you can do is hide from the world under an exquisitely crocheted blanket.

Did you know that scent is strongly linked to memory? Try stirring those long-lost memories of joy with some nostalgic scents as you slide into the bath. Maybe a birthday cake scented candle to remind you of more carefree times or one that smells just like fresh-cut grass, just like your high school football field, where you’d lie looking up at the stars with your friends, back when anything was possible. Try some almond and coconut essential oils. Your first girlfriend smelled just like that. Remember what it felt like to love recklessly? No? Well, fine.

Suicidal Ideation

Okay. Okay. Shit. Okay. Do you have a therapist? Call them. It doesn’t matter how late it is; they would much rather you call them than not. If you don’t have a therapist or don’t know how to reach them after hours, try a hotline or a trusted friend. Are you on the phone? Stay on the phone. Please don’t be alone right now.

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This calls for all the bells and whistles. You’re gonna need lavender essential oil, an iPod loaded with authentic Gregorian chants, every aromatherapy candle you can scrounge up, and at least three bath bombs. At least. Now, go into the bathroom. Remove all sharp or otherwise dangerous objects from the bathroom. Are you still on the phone? Stay on the phone. Can anyone come to get you? If you really feel out of control and you feel comfortable doing so, call 911. There are worse things than a little inpatient vacation.

Turn on the faucet. Add the oil and bath bombs. Light the candles. Press “play.” Stay on the phone. Help is on the way.

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