Are You Illiterate? This Article Won’t Help

Do you have a hard time reading? Don’t worry I do too. Was there supposed to be a comma or something in that last sentence? I have know clue. I’ll be honest with you. I’m cranking this whole thing out on the voice-to-text app on my phone so fingers crossed it doesn’t duck up and make me look like an idiot. I don’t know why I’m stressing though. If you’re illiterate it’s not like you have any idea what I’m saying. You only clicked on this article because of the picture.

All these words in a row are probably scaring you so here’s another picture to keep you here.

There you go. It’s a hot babe in a bikini. Can she read? Who knows and more importantly who cares? As long as your hot no one’s gonna ask you to read them a story. So just try to be hot. You can be crazy successful without being crazy smart as long as people still want to bone ya. So remember: “ABC.” Always. Be. Hot.

This guy gets it. But if your worried you’re friends and family are getting suspicious why you always aggressively yell “hamburger” at servers even in Indian restaurants and get sweaty when they ask if you would just please read the menu for once, there are all sorts of ways to trick them into thinking you can figure out what all that gibberish on the page is trying to tell you. Unfortunately you won’t understand any of those ways if I tell you here because you still can’t read. So here’s a picture of a dog with glasses.

And here’s a picture of a dope old car.

Dang I wonder what you must think this article is about since your only looking at the pics. A sexy af husband and wife detective team and they’re talking pooch commissioner? They should make a movie about that. It’s way cooler than any book. Even when they try to make them look pretty in pictures like this one.

Whoa someone just told me this is the book some dude read right after shooting a beetle or something. For real. Look it up. Just go to Google and type … you know wait. Forget it. I’m not gonna partake in an activity that encourages violence against bugs. Duck reading. Were good just the way we are.

Images: Pixabay, Unpslash, Pixabay, Gratisography, Gratisography, Gratisography