bunnyears

…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…

Bunny Ears Podcast 29 – Shawn DePasquale and Random Topics (Annotated)

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! I can’t always keep up with all the different topics the guys talk about, but this week, that’s intentional, I think. Because they keep changing their minds what the episode’s theme is!

The Guest: BunnyEars.com editor Shawn DePasquale. (Again.)

The Lowdown:
Stewart P. Miller is back from the Highland Games with a cold, and, it makes him sound like Luke Perry. Unexpected sick bonus! Except it’s not really Stew! It’s Shawn DePasquale, for a very special themed episode. That nobody knows the theme of yet. Should it be “fighting”?

Matt says he has never been punched or thrown a punch in his entire life. Shawn was in a fight in his early teens with three neighbor kids, ending with him kicking one of them in the face with his roller skate. Mack has had to push someone down the stairs before, when he switched schools at the height of his fame. They discuss the differences between fighting a big tough guy and a little crazy dude. Matt’s childhood was mostly free of fighting because parental lawsuits were a big deterrent, but he called the cops once on a guy who held a knife to him…now a born-again Christian who tried to be Facebook friends.

Mack recalls some over-zealous friends fighting on his behalf, which turns into a conversation about whether you’d fight a wizard, and under what circumstances. What if he were in a wheelchair?

Wheelchairs lead to Murderball, and that leads to a subject change into sports. Specifically, little league memories, and Matt not realizing he had to run after hitting the ball. Shawn doesn’t like sports but sure can throw a lighter. Matt played every sport and quit every one, though he stuck with football for three years. He educates probably most of us on lacrosse rules, because who plays lacrosse? (Answer: WASPs on Long Island). Shawn turns it into dick jokes, which is why he is editor-in-chief.

DON’T MISS:  I Cloned Myself So I Could Wear Six Different Looks On My Wedding Day

Spray-painting your lacrosse stick makes it heavier, and tagging your backpack or guitar is usually a bad idea.

Mack recalls playing basketball in school, and Matt tries to see how little Shawn knows about football. He knows hockey better, as his dad was an off-ice official for the NHL. Is pro-wrestling a sport? They duck the question a bit. Boxing? Shawn liked Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. The state of boxing is discussed, and it seems like MMA might be taking its place in the popular consciousness.

MMA segues into hair as a topic, and we learn Matt started losing his hair at age 21. Never wanting to look balding, he starting shaving it all right away. Now he feels more confident the less hair that he has. Mack offers $2000 if Matt will shave just the sides but not the top for three months, just to see if any wisps grow. He may not wear a hat. Mack discusses Andre Agassi’s wig, and inevitably talk turns to manscaping and hair on your junk. As most conversations in all-male groups inevitably do.

“My junk looks NICE” – Macaulay Culkin.

Matt has back hair. Shawn does not. Grooming talk ensues, with ear hairs and nose hairs and ingrown involved. Then hats – Matt has earned that people consider it false advertising because nobody realizes you’re bald while you have one on. His favorite thing about making friends with Stew (also bald) is that they both look like Mack’s bodyguards. Mack apparently sucks at picking bodyguards. But Matt wears a fedora to the Ren Faire. (I don’t know why I just made those two things sound in any way comparable.) Mack says he can pull of a bowler hat look, as Matt laments that many of his no longer work.

DON’T MISS:  Bunny Ears Podcast 42: The Ultimate Questions and Answers (Annotated)

Cloning is the next topic. Would you want to be cloned? And why wouldn’t you just have a kid instead? Is sex with your clone masturbation? What if it’s an identical twin instead? This is a whole disturbing kettle of fish. But what about uploading your mind to the cloud? And what would that actually be like? Black Mirror has probably explained it.
Shawn changes the subject to memory issues, and whether it’s age or weed that takes some of it away. Or ADD. Shawn has to use external tricks, but I’ve already forgotten what they are (/memoryjokes).

Final subject: anatomy. Or toys. Yep. Toys. Mack is big into 3-3/4 inch Marvel Universe figures, which are the kind of toys he always wanted more of as a kid, and now he can afford all of them. As well as the toy cars he buys at his local drugstore, which began as a spontaneous purchase and snowballed into an every-visit kind of habit. Sometimes he races them or gives them away or repaints them. Shawn thinks they should do a Top Gear-type show with them. They discuss favorite stuffed toys, the trauma of Shawn’s mom throwing away his favorite blue Muppet for smelling weird, and the time he nearly did the voice of a talking teddy bear as a kid.

DON’T MISS:  Podcast Episode 25: Brenda Song and World Travel (Annotated)

Matt has all the Pagemaster toys. Mack says most toys of him weren’t cool, but drawstring-powered, and he reveals the weirdest branding moment of his life. He’d be down to be in a video game again.

They close by teasing an upcoming new show on Bunny Ears which will feature Shawn more heavily.

The Highlights:

7:57 Mack’s pushing-a-kid-down-the-stairs story.

23:35 What an off-ice official does in the NHL

31:23 The $2000 wisps o’ hair challenge.

47:10 The big debate about sex with your clone.

The Links:

-Here’s the Seinfeld scene they’re talking about in which George wears a stylish hat so nobody knows he’s bald:

-Here’s what the Pagemaster video game looked like:

-And this is the pull-string Home Alone plush toy in action:

Contact the Guest!

Shawn DePasquale: @ShawnWrites on Twitter.

Contact The Guys!

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @bunnyearspod
Instagram: @bunnyearspodcast
Telephone: 845-EZE-HOAX

Mack
Twitter @IncredibleCulk
Instagram: Culkamania

Stew
Twitter: @SuaveAdventurer
Instagram: @SuaveAdventurer

Matt Cohen
Twitter: @Cameltoad
Instagram: @Cameltoad

Image: YouTube/Ashens

You Might Also Like

Creative Solutions To Male-Pattern Baldness

There has to be a head transplant list by now, right?

Read More

We Asked Celebrities For Their Embarrassing Sex Stories…

… And You Won’t Believe How Offended They Were!

Read More

Amazing Products 100% Not Involved In The Murder I’ve Been Accused Of

Everything must go! As soon as possible!

Read More
2 Comments
  1. How did Matt make it through school without seeing a fight!?!? That’s crazy! I went to school in middle class central Oklahoma and the best fight I saw was in high school while sitting outside during lunch. One of the special ed girls was sitting on the auditorium steps with a spec ed guy and from the side runs up another spec ed girl runs up to the first girl, leaps on her, starts slamming her head into the ground, and screaming about stealing her boyfriend. The guy just stood up and walked away. No reaction. It was amazing!

  2. I would totally buy a Macaulay frisbee, why stop there! You could make a whole range of outdoor Merch, and also create a new game called MacBall!! It’s like baseball but instead of bases you could have Macaulay standees 🌝 also use a crowbar instead of a bat and a small ball of Edam to hit (because who wouldn’t want to hit some cheese)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Stalk Us

Video of the Week

We’re Back, Baby! Take THAT, Sawa!