Having a baby changes everything, from your bladder function to your spiritual needs. You know you won’t get through it without your doula, but now your life coach, who’s been by your side from your wild single days right through to your socioeconomically appropriate marriage, feels left out. How do you keep the most important people in your life from feeling like you’re favoring one over the other? Especially during this, the most important time of a woman’s life?
Set Aside Quality Time For Both Of Them
You probably feel like you need your doula more than anyone right now, and you do. You are going to destroy this child with your ineptitude. But I promise you, you’re going to screw up every other aspect of your life just as badly. It takes a village to raise a child, and it will take an army to get you through your next performance review. So when you accidentally buy a pack of polyester onesies, pick up the phone and give Molly a call, but when you find yourself struggling to get those listicles turned in on time, Gregory will be there to recommend the exact right time management app for your individual needs.
Play To Their Strengths
You are about to get super annoying to almost everyone. Your friends do not give a fuck about your mucus plug, and neither does Gregory, for that matter. You know who does? Molly does. She lives for this shit. Those adorable maternity jeggings you saw at your prenatal CrossFit class last week? She knows where you can get them in every color, and she’d be more than happy to discuss at length which nursing tops will go best with each one. So, any time you feel like you’re about to extol the virtues of modular jogging strollers onto your life coach, shove it down your facehole and politely inquire about the proper way to Instagram a chia seed instead.
Remember What Attracted You To Them In The First Place
At the end of the day, you chose your doula and life coach for a reason. Maybe Gregory works weekends and holidays. Maybe Molly makes lunch break calls. Most likely, they both came hella cheap. Those discounted prices are proof positive that they need you more than you need them. Throw a little extra cash around if you’re feeling generous and want to make up for that time you talked about cracked nipples for three straight hours. Or don’t. It really doesn’t matter. These two dumbfucks aren’t going anywhere.