Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask Your Doctor About How Robots Have Sex

July 15, 2019 by , featured in Health
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Even though we know doctors are professionals who want to help us, asking sensitive questions can feel awkward. Making the effort to communicate clearly, however, means you’re more likely to get the information you need to move forward. So even if it feels a little weird at first, it’s important to be direct, honest, and detailed in your questions about how robots have sex.

Like, can robots give consent? And if so, what does that mean for mankind?

Starting with the basics, you’ll definitely want to cover a few key questions about enthusiastic robot consent. Like, can robots consent to sex? Does that imply free will? If they’ve evolved enough that they have free will, and what they’re doing is humping like metallic bunnies, does that mean they’re not going to enslave us and destroy our race? Or does that mean they’re going to enslave us and destroy our race WHILE they’re fucking, because of their giant robot brains?

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Also, do they  have sex organs?

Having established with your doctor that the robots are both sentient and willing to consent, let’s get technical. HOW do robots have sex? With what? Have scientists been building them with sex organs? Or did they build their own sex organs once they gained sentience? Oh god, if they did that, what on earth did they model them on? Do they have one universal sex organ system, like some kinda fancy USB port? If so, how do they decide who is the plug-er and who is the plug-ee? Or are they both ports and this is some kind of scissoring situation? If so…

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On to advanced robot sex questions:

Would they have to lube their bodies and their sentient-self-built-sex-organs to avoid chafing? They can’t get yeast infections, right? What happens if one robot is really in love with another robot and so they have sex with them, but the other robot was just using them for sex and now won’t return their texts? Would 12 be too many texts to send them without getting an answer? How about 25…0? Sorry, this seems like we’ve gotten off topic. Robots don’t need to text, they just zap words into each other’s brain with their robot powers probably, right?

Also, do sparks literally fly when they robot come?

Image: Pexels/Pexels


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