Heavy Metal Poster Hanging Advice To Improve Your Feng Shui
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…RIP KOKO…
…God found dead in space…
…Waldo still missing…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…BREAKING NEWS: Dumb Is Spelled With A ‘B’…
Cancer linked to death!
…Psychic Predicts World Already Over…
…Queen Kong???…
…”Peacoat” not what name suggests…
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…Man Wakes Up From 10 Year Coma, Asks, “What’s Up With Lance Armstrong?”…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
…Murder Victim Speaks Out…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …
…Hillary Clinton Still Roaming The Woods…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Vacuums Suck…
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…Corks Found To Only Be Holding Things Back…
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
… Red and Yellow Is The New Black…
…Police Discover Two Bodies In Witch’s Oven…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…City Announces Subway Being Rebranded As “Uber Metro”…
…Supreme Court Rules: We Rule! …
…Secret Ingredient To Sushi Discovered: FISH…
…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…Newest Gaming Trend: Personal Space…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…Teeth Found To Be Tongue Prison…
…Trump Asks Media “What’s A Tariff?”…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
…San Francisco and Oakland make up; will become one city…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…Hats are cool…
…Snow Is Just Rain That Forgot To Melt…
…Lindbergh baby missing…

Improve Your Feng Shui Exclusively Through Heavy Metal Posters

improve your feng shui

So y’all won’t believe what I found in a free bin in front of Green Noise Records here in Portland. Long before Bunny Ears was a website, it was a grungy hand-printed zine. The vibe was similar, but the times were different. It was less about detoxing heavy metals and more about embracing heavy metal. We were all into Headbangers Ball back then. Here at Bunny Ears, we are as want to embrace nostalgia as we want to improve your feng shui, so archiving this classic piece of history should accomplish both.

improve your feng shui

improve your feng shui

improve your feng shui

improve your feng shui

Unfortunately, being a free box find, the zine itself got rained on so much of the rest of it is illegible. You can get the idea tho. Other tips included:

  • A Hollywood Rose (NOT GUNS AND ROSES) poster in the bedroom
  • Making sure to hang your Ratt and Trixter posters on the opposite sides of the house or apartment or basement you live in.
  • Poison posters should be nowhere near where you eat food.
  • Too many posters of identical frizzy blonde haired dudes next to each other can congest the flow of energy through your living space. Be sure to space them out.
  • That inevitable “Frank Zappa On The Toilet” poster we all had in our bathrooms in the mid-90s was extremely bad mojo. Everyone that did so wound up voting Republican this last election.

Hope you had fun with this blast from the past and found some helpful tips! I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for more stuff from the archives!

Images: Mercury Records, Vertigo Records, Enigma Records

Rani Baker
Rani Baker

Not So Good Witch

Rani Baker is a writer for Cracked, Transadvocate, Bunny Ears (I mean) among others and frontperson for hacker punk band Destroyed For Comfort. Created the video games You Can't Go Home, Never Go To Work and Death Sword. Wants to be funnier but also wants you to like her just so, so much.Not a celebrity devil worshiper, or at least not a celebrity.

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