Simple Halloween Costumes That Will Take Several Minutes To Explain
Halloween is just around the corner, which means you’re gonna need a costume! Nobody wants to be some boring ghost or witch, though. In fact, we recommend going way too far in the other direction and choosing a totally non-recognizable concept that will take at least several minutes to explain to everyone around you. Such as …
1. A Realistic Serial Killer
“Like, a particular one?” they’ll ask. More like the prototypical one, you’ll explain. Serial killers are usually white men in their late twenties or early thirties from a lower-to-middle-class background. Draw the viewer’s attention to your lower-class buzzcut but unmistakably middle-class suit. Explain that the suit is important, as well as the travel bag, because serial killers often work in the hospitality industry or other travel-oriented occupations, as it provides them access to vulnerable people. They also tend to have addictive personalities, hence the coffee. Of course, these traits are fairly common among the general population itself, so when it comes down to it, anyone could be a serial killer. Then stare at them for several long seconds.
2. The Ocean
We’re gonna level with you: People will think you’re a flapper. It will get annoying after approximately the twelfth time it happens, and maybe you should have anticipated that, but the ripples of blue fabric so perfectly symbolize the ocean, and it will all be worth it when you explain that nothing is more terrifying than the sea.
Experts estimate that 95% of the ocean remains unexplored, so who knows what could be down there? Monsters, dinosaurs, hell itself could reside in some dark underwater cave, and that would make a morbid kind of sense, because drowning is probably the worst way to die. It’s far from the only way to die at sea, too. A cruise is basically paying someone to trap you in the middle of nowhere with no access to drinkable water or unquestionable food. And those underwater hotels? One hairline crack, and you’ll be crushed under millions of tons of water before you know it. Honestly, ghosts are cakewalk in comparison. You know what? Fine. You’re a flapper.
3. 30-50 Feral Hogs
Okay, so the gun debate, right? Okay, back up, are you on Twitter? Okay, so someone tweeted something about banning assault rifles, and some other guy—a complete nobody, totally out of left field—replied and rhetorically questioned how else he was supposed to stop 30-50 feral hogs that regularly storm his property within three to five minutes while his small children play in the yard. And like, what? How many people could this really be a problem for? So it became a whole thing. There were songs, art, t-shirts. It’s just so specific, you know? Sure, you couldn’t actually get 30-50 people, but it works. Whatever. Your internet friends will think it’s funny.