If My Kids Love Me so Much, Why Won’t They Donate to My Patreon?
Like all moms, I sometimes wonder if I am doing the best by my children. Am I raising them right? Am I installing the values I want them to abide by? Overall, I know my kids love me, but sometimes, I wonder. If my kids love me so much, why won’t they donate to my Patreon?
I mean, I have premium content at all levels if you would just sign up, Sally. For just $200 per month, I will attend any function. School plays. Trombone recitals. Parent-teacher conferences. They would even get a photo with me afterward to show all their friends.
It has everything you need
Despite adding levels of memberships tailored to my kids’ needs, they still don’t seem to be getting the hint. Today, my middle son asked me to look at a drawing he drew. I was like “Whoa, ‘Art Critic’ is the second subscription level at $30 per month. But it comes with a complimentary hug!”
Nobody understands. I tried to vent my frustration at brunch the other day, but Janet just suggested that my kids were children and had no money. I screamed at her until the server came over and asked if everything was okay. Everything was not okay. I mean, I give them an allowance every week. They have a college fund they could dip into. They could steal from the Girl Scout cookie money or freeload off what they made at the soccer camp car wash fundraiser. There is no excuse.
It’s not that I need money. It is simply that what I do for my children is labor. I am not even asking for an hourly rate. I don’t do it for the paycheck, but I do deserve one. in the form of a monthly tip at whatever level they feel comfortable in exchange for a variety of perks.
It just hurts, honestly
The more I think about my kids not donating to my Patreon, the more it really hurts my feelings. Am I not worth it? Do they not appreciate me? Sometimes, it feels like their piggy bank is giving me a smug smile. I watch him on the shelf as he stares at me, fat with coin that could be going towards a monthly subscription.
What I do with the money earned from my Patreon is up to me, but I try to put it back into my art. The art of motherhood. The trouble is, I’ve only got one patron, and I’ve never met the guy. He signed up for the “Snuggles and Validation” package, and the first is rolling around. These kids do not appreciate what I do for them.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…