Galaxy’s Edging: Crafting The Perfect Lightsaber For Her Pleasure

October 14, 2019 by , featured in Pop Culture, TV and Movies
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Many fans commemorate their visit to Disney’s “Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge” with a souvenir Ewok mug or a custom-built droid. However, the cream of the commemorative crop is the park’s lightsabers, which you can build yourself for just a Gundark hair over $200. These replicas are sleek, sophisticated, and they make great sex toys. Think of it as an elegant lightsaber dildo … for a more civilized orgasm!

When you get your lightsaber kit at Savi’s Workshop, you’ll likely be overwhelmed by the array of flared parts, studded switches, and endcaps to choose from. Don’t worry, we’ve done some internal testing, and we broke down the best parts to get your Force on—and your partner off!

Picking a Crystal

While we would’ve loved to see some of the girthier, more bulbous crystals from the Knights of the Old Republic games, Disney has opted to offer Kyber crystals for their lightsabers in just one slim shape and four standard colors. Pick whichever color matches your fuck vibe. (Note: Green or purple sabers look super cool if you use them while on ecstasy.)

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Sleeving It Up

Once you’ve picked out a crystal, it’s time to make a sheath for that naked blade! “Galaxy’s Edge” has four distinct kits for your lightsaber hilt. But which kit will take you to the Outer Rim of pleasure?

For Beginners: Let’s get the boring ones out of the way first. Yes, you can be a Glory Boy and get a lightsaber that looks nearly identical to Luke Skywalker’s in the movies. Pick the Peace and Justice or Protection and Defense kits. They’ve both got some decent ribbing along the grips, but they don’t make for the most imaginative sabers. Protection and Defense doesn’t even come with a dental dam! You can live out your teenage fantasy with these lightsabers, but sex with them will be equally amateur.

 

For Professionals: We recommend the Power and Control kit. A Sith-inspired assortment of parts, this one is probably the best for more adventurous types. A flanged hilt makes this saber the best one to slide into any orifice, and the endcaps are tapered just right. This is the kit to pick if you or your partner like ribbed toys—the grips here are chock-full of ribs!

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And We Saved the Best for Last

For the ultimate Star Wars-inspired sexual experience, we recommend the Elemental Nature kit. Usually, all the Hutt slime lube in the galaxy won’t stop your holes from getting tired of sticking a metal lightsaber up there after a while—but this kit changes the game. The lightsaber grips are made from Brylark wood or Cartusian whale bone, making for a smooth and seamless pounding. Don’t skimp on the Rancor tooth endcaps, which are curved to hit those spots juuust right.

Talk about Force-sensitivity!

Images: Pixabay, Didier Descouens/Wikimedia Commons, eBay


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