This Map Shows The Best Passive-Aggressive Mom Comments By Region
It’s no secret that colloquialisms change by region—and often even state. Whether you say things like “soda” or “pop,” “drinking fountain” or “bubbler,” and “lighting bug” versus “firefly” is highly dependent on where you call home. And it turns out the same is true for passive-aggressive phrases from our moms! Whether it’s “Bless your heart” or “Well, that’s very nice dear,” Bunny Ears is committed to celebrating those bitchy AF comments from those who gave us life.
Here’s a breakdown of the most commonly-used infuriating idioms from our moms.
“God Bless Your Truck”
Inspired by the phrase “Well, bless your heart,” “Bless your truck” also serves as a shoutout to good ol’ American-made automobiles. Moms of the South have taken to using it regularly…specifically when, say, you show up in jeans instead of a skirt to her ladies-only luncheon.
“At Least My Coconuts Are Bra Sizes”
This doozy hails from the tropical state of Hawaii, and is mostly used as a means of shaming another woman’s appearance. Especially if that woman seems “too confident.”
“We’ll All Be Underwater In Five Years”
The Southwest is beginning to seriously feel the effects of climate change, so moms living in this region tend to be passive-aggressive and fatalists at the same time. If anything annoys these women, they simply “relax” and remind everyone that the sweet kiss of death via water will soon take them away.
“Awe, Cold Helen?”
Alaskans tend to be some of the nicest people in the country. They are also completely insane. Why else would they live in what is basically the Discovery Channel? Alaskan moms specifically thrive on pointing out when their rivals are struggling with the bitter cold temperatures.
“I’d Love To, But I Only Do Gluten-Free”
Moms on the West Coast are extremely focused on healthful lifestyles, and their passive aggression tends to emerge on this front (after all, these women haven’t had a real pancake in five years). They are very hungry and many of them are also vegan. Moms in this region use “gluten intolerance” to shame everyone around them and let you know they definitely won’t be attending your traditional Italian wedding.
“Well, Public School Is Certainty Economical”
Moms of New York and the NorthEast have always been the country’s intellectual leaders. And nothing says passive-aggressive like insulting another person’s government-funded education.
“I’m Just Making America Decent Again”
Even Moms in the Midwest can’t pretend that America is on its way towards greatness. But they can use this snappy comeback to point out that they’re just trying to help. And also, their values are better than everyone else’s.
“Do You Work In The White House?”
Moms in the D.C. metropolitan area have perfected this particular comeback in recent years. If a guest at a dinner party suggests something idiotic or insane, like that the earth is flat, or that “it’s actually a scary time for men because women can just say anything,” they can simply ask if the person works in the current administration.