I Dressed Like Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater For A Week And I Still Can’t Kickflip
You ever lie awake at night thinking about the things you wish you could do but never could? Me too. That’s why I decided that I was going to finally nail this kickflip. Naturally, I looked to my skate idols to inspire me on my quest. Who might those skate gods be? Why, my favorite avatars from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, of course! I’m going to dress like these legends to really embody the role. After all, dress for the job you want, not the job you have, right? This is is what happened when dressed like Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater characters for a week.
Alright, so we are making progress. Today’s outfit gave me the courage to dig through my parent’s garage for items that haven’t been touched since 2007. When I rolled up to the skate park some kids called me a poser, which was completely uncalled for. It psyched me out, and I just couldn’t get in the kickflip zone.
This outfit was inspired by the threads my avatar was wearing when I beat the Warehouse Tape Challenge in Pro Skater. Today I practiced kickflips a bunch on my tech-deck, and I’m feeling pretty confident that I can transfer these skills to the big tech-deck–I mean skateboard.
I’m not going to lie, today was not rad. I scraped my elbow and it hurt really, really badly. So I decided to take a break. Luckily, my flip phone was not damaged in the fall. It was a close call. I’m bummed that today was ruined so early because I found an abandoned pool and was for sure going to pop an ollie in it. Everyone knows an ollie is the gateway kickflip.
I’m just going to state the obvious. It’s a lot harder to skate without using my PS2 controller. How am I supposed to grind without a balance meter? I’m worried my Stat Points are going to plummet. Korn can’t save me now. Jonathan Davis never landed a kickflip either.
Listen, I gave it my all. I really did. I listened to my 2001 Warped Tour playlist. I busted out the brimmed beanie. I even ran up and down the ramps at the skatepark and thought super hard about doing a kickflip. Unlike Pro Skater, there are no cheat codes for the real world.
I guess this is one trick I was never meant to nail.
Images: Anabel and Genevieve Kane