Woo Your Future Mate With The Seductive Art Of Whale Screaming
And don’t forget to buy my companion book!
Lose Weight With My Diet Of Artisanal LSD Tabs And Ditch Grains Fed To You Through Our Feed Hole
The Church Of False-Vestigially has implemented a state-of-the-art health program with only a 40% failure* rate. It’s called the “LSD Hole Diet,” and it’s totally shaking up the diet world.
How To Use Dreams To Manifest Your True Power And Also Defeat That Blade-Fingered Snarling Boogeyman Who Keeps Stalking You For Some Reason
Rejoice, my sweet followers! While the Church Of False-Vestigially regularly discovers many a miracle that we share in our weekly digital newsletter (purchase your subscription at one of my many web pages), there rarely comes such a powerful gift as what I’ve been bestowed so recently. It happened last Fourth of July as I was […]
Tales From The Afterlife: I Can Stop My Heart Using Only My Will And A Truck Battery
Near death experiences are real, my children. I know this because I have died once a week for the last three years. I stop my heart using only my willpower as a skilled guru and also a 24-volt customized truck battery, with the following practice: Step One: Perform the Kurmasana pose in a shallow prayer […]
Hot New Summer Robes In Which To Commence The Inviolable Rites Of The Solstice Death Orgy
Heads up, this article contains Amazon Affiliate links. That means if you buy some stuff they’ll give us money. Which helps us pay our writers and stuff. So … maybe click links and buy junk! It’s summertime, and you know what that means! Once again, my Church Of Vestigial Glory will be holding its annual […]
Podcast Episode 22: Shawn “DeBosse” DePasquale (Annotated)
Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Do you ever wonder why stuff is so great here? Or how it is kept great? We might find out when our boss speaks this week… The Guest: BunnyEars.com editor Shawn DePasquale The Lowdown: We kick off […]
The Psychic Life-Hack That’ll Change How You Go To The Dentist
It may sound far-fetched and perhaps even insane, but psychic dentistry is the one true way to tame your mouth aura.
10 Futhark Runes That Will Totally Make You Cum
For your next romantic evening in, why not try one (or all!) of the following runes, hand-selected by Church elders, to get those juices flowing?
Chaxing: The Hot New Teen Trend Where You Give My Church One Half Of Your Salary
Parents hate it! Old people fear it! The government technically allows it under the Religious Liberty and Charitable Donation Protection Act of 1998! It seems that teens these days are scrambling to try out the hot new trend of church-taxing, or “chaxing.” It’s a lit craze that involves a 8323 tax form, one signed and […]