Tag Archives: “Dr.” Guru King Nartec Jeff Roberts

Rejoice, my sweet followers! While the Church Of False-Vestigially regularly discovers many a miracle that we share in our weekly digital newsletter (purchase your subscription at one of my many web pages), there rarely comes such a powerful gift as what I’ve been bestowed so recently. It happened last Fourth of July as I was […]

Near death experiences are real, my children. I know this because I have died once a week for the last three years. I stop my heart using only my willpower as a skilled guru and also a 24-volt customized truck battery, with the following practice: Step One: Perform the Kurmasana pose in a shallow prayer […]

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Do you ever wonder why stuff is so great here? Or how it is kept great? We might find out when our boss speaks this week… The Guest: BunnyEars.com editor Shawn DePasquale The Lowdown: We kick off […]

It may sound far-fetched and perhaps even insane, but psychic dentistry is the one true way to tame your mouth aura.

For your next romantic evening in, why not try one (or all!) of the following runes, hand-selected by Church elders, to get those juices flowing?

Parents hate it! Old people fear it! The government technically allows it under the Religious Liberty and Charitable Donation Protection Act of 1998! It seems that teens these days are scrambling to try out the hot new trend of church-taxing, or “chaxing.” It’s a lit craze that involves a 8323 tax form, one signed and […]

Read it and then provide at least several pages of feedback and suggestions. The talking hippo is named Everett and he mostly screams.

And don’t forget to buy my companion book!

The Church Of False-Vestigially has implemented a state-of-the-art health program with only a 40% failure* rate. It’s called the “LSD Hole Diet,” and it’s totally shaking up the diet world.