Reach Enlightenment By Providing Feedback On My Talking Hippo Script

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It is said that to improve others is to improve yourself. The vestigial instincts in mankind, often removed by Big Doctor for purposes of control, naturally strengthen when used creatively to build up the thoughts and ideas of others. This is why I have begun to encourage my Church followers to walk a journey of spiritual enlightenment by reading and then providing at least several pages of feedback on my new screenplay about a talking hippo. His name is Everett, and he mostly screams.


It’s Going To Be Huge Overseas!

Why does Everett scream so much? To fully understand it, you’ll simply have to explore the rich world I’ve inked on 170 pages of legal yellow pad, photocopied and delivered to your home upon request. While the prospect of a talking hippo will likely have you assume this is a children’s film, that is very much not the case. The saga of Everett is very serious, folks, and spans not only centuries of time in the fictional realm of North Yastronium but also reality itself. The ultimate lesson and meaning, some of which I can share with you today, delivers everything our Church stands for in a far more mainstream and digestible way, for Everett screams because Everett is not complete.


Bringing Mack Back To The Movies

This is where your journey to enlightenment comes into play. You see, as many of you might already know, I do not spend a lot of time outside of the ceremonial yurt. Sure, there are days you’ll find me reading a book or partaking in the occasional game of Scattergories from the Church’s fun cabinet, but the majority of my public time is stuck in ceremonies or holed up in the Crucible Sex Chambers.

My point here is that I need fresh, nubile eyes to make the tale of Everett more accessible, so if my time of high requirement is met with equal response, those who deliver will surely reach enlightenment far sooner than those who do not. Also, I will throw in five points off the back end of whatever we make to whoever gives the most useful ideas.

And believe me, followers, this thing will be huge. We’ve already got an in with Hasbro to maybe spin this into a Hungry Hungry Hippos type of thing. Obviously, our most devout and talented Church follower, Macaulay Culkin, has been tapped to perform the voice of Everett, despite most of his lines being unbroken, guttural screams.


It’s A Tale As Old As Time

Everett The Talking Hippo’s story is really everyone’s story. Thrust into a moist world he does not understand, our hero soon learns that the soul-energy bestowed upon his birth was forcefully removed by the wicked Doctor Médico, a powerful dark wizard who lurks deep within the caverns of the Yastronium sea. Hidden in his underwater castle, Médico has convinced the realm-jumping people of Atlantis to inject themselves with a mind-control drug disguised as a vaccine.

Now, Everett must travel across the gargantuan Ruins of Branciscon in order to cast himself into the ocean and retrieve that which is rightfully his, all while evading a blinded bureaucratic cabal hellbent on forcing Everett to pay millions in legal fines for alleged acts of fraud and malpractice. They do not fully understand the context of his many yells, the raw truth he spouts despite so many of his fellow hippos attempting to silence him. Everett will not be silenced.


I Have Sequel Ideas

That’s just act one of this adventure, folks. The explosive ending that (spoilers) sends Everett to 1940s Japan practically begs for a sequel and eventual franchise. This is why I ask not only for you to find your personal enlightenment via feedback on this powerful message but to also reach out to any wealthy relative who might wish to receive a producing credit. You will reach an extra level of enlightenment if you happen to know anyone who works for a major production studio.

My wonderful followers, together we will spread this glorious message of bravery in the face of doubt and help Everett retrieve his soul-energy. Possibly orbs, if this deal with Hasbro gets legs.

May the guidance of my forever-light shine especially bright if you happen to know anyone at Netflix,

“Dr.” Guru King Nartec Jeff Roberts Leader Of The Church Of False-Vestigially

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