The Bunny Ears ‘Fuck A Killer’ Subscription Box
We here at Bunny Ears pride ourselves on being in tune with the needs of the people. We listen when you lament the lack of decent home cryogenics guides. And we hear you when you say that all you want is a fashionable but non-racist winter sweater. Our motto is clear: Give the people what they want, even if it involves instructions for faking a pregnancy. We aim to please, and we do not judge. Admittedly, if we were going to draw a line, it would be well before encouraging your weird attraction to serial killers. But here we are.
Are You All Okay?
Alas, we must be one with the zeitgeist and give you what you want, you goddamn weirdos. That’s why we’re introducing the Bunny Ears “Fuck A Killer” subscription box, a product so batshit crazy that you probably shouldn’t want others to know you’re into it, but for some reason, you very much do. Way too much.
With our “Fuck A Killer” subscription box, you can indulge in your troubling fantasy of banging a serial killer’s brains out, regardless of how many people this killer has brutally murdered and taken away from their loved ones. You won’t care one bit, because our killer is the hottest psychopath that’s ever existed. Our charismatic murderer is so insanely sexy, Hollywood wouldn’t be able to cast him. The people have spoken, and murdery misogynists are the new movie stars. God help us all.
The Bunny Ears “Fuck A Killer” subscription box is different from the other murder mystery boxes, in ways we’re not entirely comfortable with. Not only does our box come with erotic clues and detailed descriptions of death scenes that Eli Roth would call tasteless, each box will also provide you with “special tools.” You know, the kind that’ll help you get off while flipping through photographs of dead people. You lunatic.
But that’s not all! Sign up for our “Fuck A Killer” subscription box, and you’ll receive monthly clues on our gorgeous serial killer’s whereabouts and location. That’s right: There’s a good chance our sociopathic stud is actually a real person! If you follow the clues, who knows? You might get to meet this probably impotent psycho in real life, be utterly disappointed in your attempt to sex him, and probably get murdered!
Look out for our “Fuck A Killer” subscription box dropping sometime next month. Or get some therapy. Honestly, we’re good either way.
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