Stop Giving Me Hydration Tips, I Have Rabies
I know you all mean well. I’m touched, really, by your concern for my well-being and selfless dedication to providing helpful advice. To many of you, it may seem to be very good advice, maybe even of dire importance. My skin is yellow and taut but also swollen around my joints. I haven’t secreted a […]
This Year’s Hottest Diseases and How to Get Them
Just like fashion, the medical world is ever-evolving at an ever-increasing pace. The diseases of yore, like syphilis and tuberculosis, had their moments for entire decades, sometimes even centuries. But these days, you can hardly catch the latest sexy yet pitiable disease, much less cure it, before the next big thing comes along. Last year, […]
Episode 4 – Resurrection (Annotated)
Guest: Stewart P. Miller from Columbus, Ohio The Lowdown: The gang goes around and tells everyone their Top 3 Favorite Street Signs! The boys also go ahead and tell everyone their porn names, too. List Of Lists: Top 3 Rollercoasters! Top 3 Diseases! Top 3 Holiday Mascots! Top 3 Cereal Mascots! Top 3 Serial Killers! […]
I Inject My Kids With Kindness – NOT VACCINES
In 2016, after my eighth round of IVF, I was finally blessed with my stunning designer triplets, Hayden, Kayden, and Dave. After becoming a mom, I started doing some hard soul-searching. What type of parent did I want to be? I was interested in combining parenting with the holistic, natural, and spiritual philosophies by which […]
Top Ten Epidemics It’s Time We Finally Talked About
Alright, we get it already. We’re all affected by the modern epidemics of plastic, autism, allergies, opiates, and Coldplay. We’re doing our fucking best, okay? But what about all the other epidemics out there that nobody is talking about? Read on for the Bunny Ears exclusive scoop on the top ten epidemics long overdue for […]
Vintage Looks So Authentic We Swear You’ll Contract Polio
Vintage looks are not only environmentally sustainable enough to cancel out brunch queen’s Skyler’s HydroFlask collection, but donning retro style will never stop being stylish AF. They symbolize the poise and elegance of a time long gone, when slim silhouettes were both chic and easily maintained by contracting that helpful calorie-burning whooping cough. Here are […]
Stick-And-Poke Tats Are The New Face-Painting At Your Kids’ Parties!
Move over Fudgy the Whale, crude needle poke tattoos are the new big children’s party must-have of the year!
Why We Don’t Vaccinate Our Children From My Homemade Plague
What the real danger is here? A virus I specifically designed to kill 90% of the population, or the untested vaccine for it? I think you know my answer.