Ken Hanley

Everything was so hazy at first… In the distance, I saw myself in a board meeting, and I was CEO, my eyes glowing with pride. Shadows parted way, and I suddenly saw myself on a date with a perfect 10, confident, stylish, leaning in for a first kiss. But the fog returned, and when it …

For some people, the shower is a place of absolute comfort where you can sing, formulate insane Fresh Prince fan theories, or even shed a few tears without judgment. For others, the shower is a place of vulnerability, where the ultimate embarrassment or a knife-wielding maniac is only separated by the tug of a curtain. …

You hit the club dressed to the nines with whatever you found lying on the floor. Your heart works overtime to match that nasty beat, sweat rising from your pores. You see a sexy someone. You lock eyes. They pick up speed. Your bodies meet, they lean in… “Jesus Christ, how much have you had …

Earlier this year, I may have ill-advisedly shared five cocktail recipes with Bunny Ears readers during a, um, difficult time in my personal life. In the midst of a brutal divorce, I succumbed to the devil brew, and I was advised by my “lawyer” to check into a rehabilitation facility. I’m happy to report that I’m …

Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about …

At ten a.m. I was in London, taking in the sights of Trafalgar Square. 20 minutes later, I was on the outskirts of Paris, awaiting freshly cooked crepes from the country’s finest pastry chef. By noon, I found myself in Japan, experiencing state-of-the-art technology designed specifically to clean my fartbox. This technology would later come …

I’ve been to the bottom, man. Last night was the fourth straight evening I spent catching z’s in my vehicle. Granted, it’s happened to the best of us, especially us common folk who refuse handouts and breadcrumbs from the 1%. But it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’ve …

Whenever I saw those stories on the news about kids and the internet, I always thought, “Not my daughter.” But then it happens to you—you get Freaky Friday’d with your teen, and it hits you like a ton of bricks: You don’t know the first thing about your kid. (Also, you look in the mirror …

As a resident of the great state of New Jersey, I’m often asked, “Is New Jersey as bad as everyone says it is?” And good news: There’s plenty of cool stuff to enjoy in New Jersey if you know where to look. However, don’t look too hard, or you just might find a dead body! …

For some people, health scares, tragedies, or life-changing experiences are the last straw before we take the initiative to better our personal health. However, the rest of us all know that the key to living healthier than ever is paved with the fear of assassination from your evil future self. Whether they’re trying to take …

As the resident environmentalist at Bunny Ears, it should be no surprise to anyone that I’m absolutely disgusted by everyone and everything. From the wasteful scourge that loves to punish Mother Earth with their repugnant, neverending consumption to the phonies who think that recycling plastics and buying hybrids make them eco-friendly, I’ve been on my …

What site is this? The blue header … It looks like Facebook. Wait … Doesn’t Twitter sometimes have a blue header? My God, what if I’ve taken a left turn and stumbled into Tumblr territory? My name is Ken Hanley, and I suffer from short-term memory loss as a result of a vicious assault by …

Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Yo, I’m not going to apologize for being a modern man. If you’re still listening to AM radio, paying …

Today’s generation of parents face a very difficult decision: how do you define your relationship with your child? With the omnipresence of social media, the dangers of the digital age, and changing social norms, there’s more pressure than ever to be more like a “friend” to your children rather than a “guardian.” Besides, if you …

After such a rough-and-tumble winter, Summer cannot get here fast enough. Yeah, isn’t Summer GREAT?! Everyone likes to party during the Summer, right?! I remember the summer, back when I was a bartender before I met Ashlee, that- you know what? Not gonna say it. I bet she’s got her lawyer reading this shit now. …

For many years, the opportunity for our youth to have an education in music and performance arts has been under fire. Throughout the United States, parents and students alike have battled school administrators who have been all-too-happy to cut classes in the arts, especially those in music education, just to save a penny or two …

[Editor’s Note: This article is not related to the Liam Neeson action vehicle “The Commuter”; Bunny Ears would like to apologize for any inconvenience this poses to our readers.] It’s hard to argue that there is a greater pain to anyone in the modern day working class than the commute. Just think about all the …

With medical marijuana legalized in 29 states and recreational marijuana legalized in 9 states as of 2018, it’s only a matter of time before this article is laughably irrelevant, if not outright fucking stupid. But since weed is still illegal in a lot of places, you can’t just keep your weed out in the open …

Confession time: I’ve had a hell of a run so far. I’ve been told by my friends that I am lucky to have what I’ve been afforded in life, with my peak physical condition, my well-paying job, and my lovely circle of friends and family. But after so many years of spoiling myself with what …

It’s a phrase I’ve seen a thousand times on armbands, miniature towels, and neon-bright t-shirts throughout the last 15 years. It’s not just a saying, but a way of life; a mantra which one can turn to when their dreams seem so far out of reach. Yet as I lay here on this hospital gurney, …

One year ago, if you would have told me that I’d be sitting on a chair crafted from the bones of seemingly dozens of human bodies, I probably would have thought you were crazy. Yet here I am, sitting mere feet away from one of the most singularly terrifying figures in the landscape of alternative …

Let’s face it: in 2018, what even is a great vacation anymore? Destination trips are filled with unpleasant surprises, from last second price hikes, children being eaten by alligators, and fucking sand. Likewise, it’s increasingly difficult to find the time, what with more and more millennials taking gigs and second jobs just for the opportunity …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To Using Your Three Magic Wishes First off, CONGRATULATIONS! As much as the media wants you to believe that …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …

If you’ve been single in the digital age, you know how the story goes: you meet the right guy and/or gal, you connect over your favorite episodes of The Office or where you were during Occupy Wall Street, and you start planting the seeds for a casual fling. You set the date. You set the …

Guys, wedding speeches are the worst, am I right? We’ve all had to sit through some mediocre, if not humiliating, toasts throughout the years, and I’m sure we’ll have to sit through many more. Fortunately, my toast won’t be one of them, as- believe it or not- it’s the culmination of a 20 year revenge …

Hey there, pal. You seem like a cool dude, brother. You know, I’ve seen a lot of cool, tough guys in my time, so I know a real dude when I see him. But I also know that it’s hard out there for cool, hip boys who are just trying to hang ten with the …

For as long as I could remember, I’ve always been a pussy. I vividly recall the days where I’d be standing alongside countless cowards at the nearest grocery store, spending my hard-earned money on frozen pizzas, boxes of dry macaroni, or preservative-filled burgers. Some call it sustenance. Some even call it satisfying. But let’s call …

Did you know that lifehacks have been around for centuries, long before the birth of the digital revolution? Way before you could use your shoe as a makeshift cup-holder or a tennis ball as a catch-all storage device, societies around the world basically invented the lifehack through the ceremonial practice of Voodoo! Shockingly, modern lifehack …