Lydia Bugg has written for Cracked.com and Themodernrogue.com. Her star sign is Leo, her spirit animal is a ghost, and her aura is millennial pink.
This Heirloom Gingerbread Recipe Is Starting To Make Me Think My Grandma Might Be The Witch From Hansel And Gretel
Heirloom recipes are so special. They’re like a time machine that can transport us directly back to our childhood kitchens. I know when I take one bite of this wonderful gingerbread recipe I’m right back next to my grandmother in her warm, homey cottage in the woods. I’m so excited to share this fabulous recipe […]
How To Give A Memorable Wedding Toast Without Mentioning The Bride Ate Her Twin In Utero
It’s such an honor to be asked to speak at your friend’s wedding, but it can also be very stressful. Right now, I’m attempting to put down a few words on paper about my lifelong friend, Jennifer, and of course, I’m having that classic problem: trying not to mention that she ate her twin in […]
Wine Kegs That Will Get Your Book Club Lit AF
Because we all know this is what it’s actually all about.
Color Of The Month: Yellow
I volunteered to write about this month’s chosen color of the month assuming it would be a fun and relatively simple task for me…as long as the chosen color wasn’t yellow. Then Craig the Intern called to say the folks in the office had landed on…you guessed it: yellow (which is so stupid considering we […]
We Held A Gender Reveal Party To Reveal Gender Is A Social Construct But We Still Kept All The Presents
My husband and I decided to throw a gender reveal party to reveal to our unwoke friends and family that gender is just a social construct. At first they were pretty confused when the gender reveal trebuchet flung only hunks of raw chicken instead of the pink or blue confetti they were promised. When I […]
I Used A Babypod And Now My Baby Looks Just Like The Lead Singer Of Smash Mouth And It’s Definitely Because Of The Babypod And For No Other Reason
Dear Babypod, I would like to file a complaint about your product. When I first heard about your speaker, which I could easily insert into my vagina and use to play music for my baby, I was very excited. This device was perfect for introducing my baby to my favorite band, Smash Mouth. At least […]
This Low-Cal Almond Butter Is So Addictive I’ll Blow You For It!
Where do you wanna do this?
Philosophical Reasons You HAVE To Bleach Your Asshole
Some dilemmas in life can only be answered by analyzing the words of the great thinkers of humanity. People often turn to religion when pondering the big questions, but as a practical person who finds value in tangible thought structures rather than spiritual reconnaissance, I’m much more likely to turn to philosophy to answer the […]
Our Step By Step Guide To Shoving Your Entire Fist In Your Mouth
For years people have been whispering about the therapeutic properties of sticking your entire first in your mouth. It’s been called Mouth Fisting, and the benefits are both spiritual and physical. It’s a fun and relaxing pastime and it stretches out your jaw so you can fit even more cheeseburgers in there. I’d had a […]
All This Mom Wants For Mother’s Day Is Some Great Dad Dick And For Her Kids To STFU
This time of year most Moms are gearing up to partake in the Mother’s Day tradition of being forced to pretend uncooked pasta is a viable fashion choice. One woman is hoping her kids get the hint that all she wants is for them to shut the fuck up for a few hours and some […]
SuperFood Secrets! That If You Tell Anyone I’ll Kill You
Everyone wants to extend and enrich their lives by eating natural, healthy, food but only the chosen few can. I mean, let’s face it, if we were all going to live forever thanks to our clean eating, then the earth would be massively overcrowded. So I’ll tell you my super food secrets, but I swear […]
This Is Face Yoga…I Swear
Hi Bunny Ears readers. As you know we like to have fun here from time to time but right now we need to get real serious. You might know me as a hilarious and probably your favorite comedy writer, but I also have a higher purpose in life. I’m a face yoga instructor. What is […]
Which Disney Princess Could You Beat In A Cage Match?
We know you’ve always thought about it.
Are Your Small Dogs Plotting To Unionize?
Small dogs are a necessary part of the celebrity life style. If you aren’t constantly being followed by five to ten small dogs how will people know that you can afford to spend thousands of dollars keeping alive a cadre of useless inbred monsters? Of course your instinct is to dote on your adorable mini-frankensteins. […]
I Connected With My Deceased Father By Touching His Thermostat
He’s not a crime solving ghost, or a prophetic warning ghost. He’s just a cheap ghost.
How Do You Tell If An Object Sparks Joy Or Just Gave You An Orgasm Once?
No, literally all I have left now are vibrators and cake mix.
This Shopping App Will Save You Tons Of $ By Threatening Your Pets
Or do you WANT your dog to die?
Transform Your Body By Getting Into This Machine And Not Asking Any Questions
Have you ever looked at your human body and thought “Ew, this lumbering carcass that encases my intellect is much too large and bothersome”? Well, with my revolutionary three-step method, you’ll see the pounds melt away in just three minutes. Many advertisers promise to give you less body quickly and with minimal effort, but no […]
We Found Carmen Sandiego, She Was Just in the Bathroom for a Really Long Time
Should we slide a magazine under the door or something?
Holiday Party Idea: Pushing Over Children At The Skating Rink
We need a fun and competitive blood sport that combines hockey with a dash of child abuse.
Beautiful Inspirational Quotes That Will Definitely Piss Off The Person You’re Directing Them At
It can be hard to express your true feelings. That’s why inspirational quotes are so great! Why think of something poignant yourself when you could just use Google? When it’s hard for me to find the words I need all I have to do is turn to Instagram where I can find exactly what I […]
Tips For Making Your Home Feel Less Like A Place Where People Get Murdered
Inviting a new person into your home can be stressful, especially if you’re planning to murder that person. It’s crucial for your home to say to the world, “Come in, get comfy, expose your jugular, maybe take a nap.” It can be difficult to make your home feel less like a place where people get […]
Oh, I’ll Tell You How To Make These Vegan Sugar Cookies, But First You’ll Have To Read My Ridiculously Long Sugar Cookie Journey
Hey guys, I’m so glad that you came to check out my fave sugar cookie recipe! I know you probably just want to scroll down to the ingredients and get the recipe, but I’m going to make that as difficult for you as possible. Some might say I’m holding the recipe hostage. But instead of […]
Help! My Spirit Animal Is A Shark And Keeps Biting Me In The Pool
I have a serious medical/spiritual condition that people desperately need to made more aware of. Kids today are going crazy for spirit animals but they are not aware how harmful and dangerous they can be. Everyone thinks finding out your spirit animal will be fun and enlightening, but in reality, it could end with you […]
My Morning Routine: I Lick Everything In The House So It Stays Mine
When you grow up in a house with seven brothers, you learn certain habits that last a lifetime.
How To Stop Calling Your Personal Trainer At 3AM To Yell JUST LET ME BE FAT BRAD
Having a personal trainer is great but who likes working out? Why move your body around like a poor building rocks for money or whatever when you could just wait for a sexy android body to come on the market someday? It’s tough; the urge to call your personal trainer at 3AM to screech JUST […]