Lydia Bugg has written for Cracked.com and Themodernrogue.com. Her star sign is Leo, her spirit animal is a ghost, and her aura is millennial pink.
How To Give A Memorable Wedding Toast Without Mentioning The Bride Ate Her Twin In Utero
It’s such an honor to be asked to speak at your friend’s wedding, but it can also be very stressful. Right now, I’m attempting to put down a few words on paper about my lifelong friend, Jennifer, and of course, I’m having that classic problem: trying not to mention that she ate her twin in […]
Wine Kegs That Will Get Your Book Club Lit AF
As we all know every modern day book club is incomplete without a wine keg. Whether you’re a merlot hoe or a chardonnay bae everybody loves a plastic bladder full of hot wine shipped via FedEx from an exotic local like Sheboygan New Jersey or Detroit Michigan. Here are some of BunnyEars favorite wine keg/book […]
Color Of The Month: Yellow
I volunteered to write about this month’s chosen color of the month assuming it would be a fun and relatively simple task for me…as long as the chosen color wasn’t yellow. Then Craig the Intern called to say the folks in the office had landed on…you guessed it: yellow (which is so stupid considering we […]
We Held A Gender Reveal Party To Reveal Gender Is A Social Construct But We Still Kept All The Presents
My husband and I decided to throw a gender reveal party to reveal to our unwoke friends and family that gender is just a social construct. At first they were pretty confused when the gender reveal trebuchet flung only hunks of raw chicken instead of the pink or blue confetti they were promised. When I […]
I Used A Babypod And Now My Baby Looks Just Like The Lead Singer Of Smash Mouth And It’s Definitely Because Of The Babypod And For No Other Reason
Dear Babypod, I would like to file a complaint about your product. When I first heard about your speaker, which I could easily insert into my vagina and use to play music for my baby, I was very excited. This device was perfect for introducing my baby to my favorite band, Smash Mouth. At least […]
This Low-Cal Almond Butter Is Super Addictive! I’ll Blow You For It.
I didn’t believe my friend Jessica when she kept telling me that she was totally addicted to this super-sweet, low-calorie almond butter she found at Whole Foods. That is, until I saw her in an alley near her Park Avenue apartment blowing a Postmates delivery guy. That’s when I knew I really needed get my […]
Philosophical Reasons You HAVE To Bleach Your Asshole
Some dilemmas in life can only be answered by analyzing the words of the great thinkers of humanity. People often turn to religion when pondering the big questions, but as a practical person who finds value in tangible thought structures rather than spiritual reconnaissance, I’m much more likely to turn to philosophy to answer the […]
Our Step By Step Guide To Shoving Your Entire Fist In Your Mouth
For years people have been whispering about the therapeutic properties of sticking your entire first in your mouth. It’s been called Mouth Fisting, and the benefits are both spiritual and physical. It’s a fun and relaxing pastime and it stretches out your jaw so you can fit even more cheeseburgers in there. I’d had a […]
All This Mom Wants For Mother’s Day Is Some Great Dad Dick And For Her Kids To STFU
This time of year most Moms are gearing up to partake in the Mother’s Day tradition of being forced to pretend uncooked pasta is a viable fashion choice. One woman is hoping her kids get the hint that all she wants is for them to shut the fuck up for a few hours and some […]
SuperFood Secrets! That If You Tell Anyone I’ll Kill You
Everyone wants to extend and enrich their lives by eating natural, healthy, food but only the chosen few can. I mean, let’s face it, if we were all going to live forever thanks to our clean eating, then the earth would be massively overcrowded. So I’ll tell you my super food secrets, but I swear […]
Tips For Making Your Home Feel Less Like A Place Where People Get Murdered
Inviting a new person into your home can be stressful, especially if you’re planning to murder that person. It’s crucial for your home to say to the world, “Come in, get comfy, expose your jugular, maybe take a nap.” It can be difficult to make your home feel less like a place where people get […]
This Is Face Yoga…I Swear
Hi Bunny Ears readers. As you know we like to have fun here from time to time but right now we need to get real serious. You might know me as a hilarious and probably your favorite comedy writer, but I also have a higher purpose in life. I’m a face yoga instructor. What is […]
Which Disney Princess Could You Beat In A Cage Match?
Ladies, you know how sometimes when you see the youthful effervescent beauty of a Disney Princess you sigh and think I bet I could kick her ass? If your natural response to the appearance of Cinderella’s castle is to take out your earrings don’t worry, you’re not alone. We all wish we could be transported […]
How To Stop Calling Your Personal Trainer At 3AM To Yell JUST LET ME BE FAT BRAD
Having a personal trainer is great but who likes working out? Why move your body around like a poor building rocks for money or whatever when you could just wait for a sexy android body to come on the market someday? It’s tough; the urge to call your personal trainer at 3AM to screech JUST […]
Are Your Small Dogs Plotting To Unionize?
Small dogs are a necessary part of the celebrity life style. If you aren’t constantly being followed by five to ten small dogs how will people know that you can afford to spend thousands of dollars keeping alive a cadre of useless inbred monsters? Of course your instinct is to dote on your adorable mini-frankensteins. […]
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…