Horoscope: Which Type Of Flu Will Kill You When The Pandemic Hits?
With overpopulation, global travel, and not one, but several strains of drug-resistant superbugs already taking hold, it’s safe to say that you and everyone you know will die in a pandemic (soon). And if modern history has taught us anything, this pandemic will likely come in the form of classic influenza. But will you die of […]
What VD You Definitely Have Right Now Based On Your Star Sign
This month’s Bunny Ears horoscope will tell you which venereal disease you have at this very moment while you’re reading this.
Which Third-Degree Felony You’ll Most Likely Die In Jail For Based On Your Star Sign
You know you have it in you.
Where You Should Spread Your Ashes Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Great Nana Etna just passed away, and as they propelled her ashes over the tennis courts of her beloved country club, you had a couple of distinct thoughts: Who knew the human body produced that much ash? And also, where the hell am I going to spread mine?! Well we here at Bunny Ears are […]
Free Monthly Horoscopes – June Edition
Summer is officially here, so astrally project yourself into your monthly Horoscope Guide. Whether you intend to have a summer of love or a summer of deep thought and solitude, the stars have their own plan for you, and all it takes is a receptive ear to listen to the Universe’s motherly whisper. Aquarius: As […]
Free Monthly Horoscopes – March Edition
Hello and welcome to your monthly Horoscope Guide! We know you have a lot of options when it comes to finding out your future, and we are thrilled and humbled that you’ve chosen us to be the copilots on your astrological journey through the stars. Aquarius: The Water-Bearer! Your colors are light-blue and silver. You […]
Absolute Must-Have Horoscope #SquadsGoals (Finally In One Place)!
Horoscope squads, assemble! While every horoscope sign is unique, there’s no denying that some traits overlap and form some seriously awesome squads! Study up, figure out the traits that you have in common, and learn how to slay your way through the month of May, bae! The Most Likely To Fake a Sick Day Squad: […]
Hogwarts Sex: Where You’ll Get It On, According To The Zodiac
Don’t tell us you’ve never thought about it.
How Each Zodiac Sign Will Ruin Your Carefully Planned Art Heist
Your failure is written in the stars.
Who You’ll Bang In The Animaniacs Universe According To Your Sign
Minerva Mink? Or perhaps the Godpigeon?
What You’ll Choke To Death On Based On Your Star Sign
The other alternative is to just keep your big mouth shut and starve to death. #horoscopes