Tag Archives: family

There are a lot of pros and cons to hobby farms. I don’t know what they are. I did little to no research before starting a hobby farm, to the detriment of my relationship with my wife, my relationship with my children, and my relationship with the laws of the land. But since I own […]

One of the best things about being obscenely loaded is that you can ensure your children also enjoy the benefits of immense wealth, thus perpetuating a rock-solid cycle of compounding privilege that will echo down your bloodline for years to come. However, be wary of becoming not just a helicopter parent but the even more […]

You have questions, this luxurious cashmere beanie has answers. Everything from relationship advice to grooming habits, this cashmere beanie can help!

An ancient and terrifying power lurks inside you… congratulations, you are about to give birth to a baby! Now you must announce the coming of your child to the world, so that all inhabitants of earth may prepare themselves for your spawn’s unbridled potential. And what better way to do that than a gender reveal […]

We’re tired of it!

Seriously. You have a problem.

Like an Old Fashioned!

It’s a surefire way to survive the day intact.

Your whole life is a lie, but you deserved that promotion.

The title ‘Sir Mix-a-Lot’ goes back centuries.

It’s been a game-changer.

I realized I was doing everything exactly right.

It’s easy!

X-Box controllers are expensive. Try throwing these unimportant things instead.

Finally, we know which Culkin is best and which is worst. And who has more authority to speak on the subject than Macaulay Culkin himself?

Will they be able to keep up with all those little creeps, goobers, freak-balls and toenail chewers? I’m just not convinced.

“Has this white woman ever had chicken before?” My dad asks, staring at the chicken. “This tastes like the ghost of flavored meat,” My mom says.

I tried out this new Face/Off procedure so I could see what I could learn about my childhood in order to be able to exploit it for an internet article. Here is what I learned.

Hint: You’re not going to want to go anywhere near a What Kind of Fast Food are You Based on Your Zodiac article if you’re a Pisces!

Every dad has a pants pickle ready to tickle, but we don’t always put it out there in the best light. Well that ends now.

I’m a lifelong fan of professional wrestling, thanks to my dad. We’ve always enjoyed cheering for the best of the best. From Stone Cold flipping off Vince to The Rock electrifying millions, both my dad and I were hardcore fans. But as time moved on, things have changed. The current era of WWE has thrown […]

Yes, even seventeen months after they died in that tragic safari giraffe stampede accident.

Obadiah died in war!

Let’s throw up together!

I swear to fucking God they better after all of this bullshit I went through this year.

This Thanksgiving turkey is just the opportunity you need to have at least one thing go right. And you really need it because, let’s be honest, you can really use a win right now.

Get ready.