Mother’s Day Gift Ideas For People You’ve Accidentally Called ‘Mom’
Mother’s Day shouldn’t just be about the woman who actually gave birth to you. What’s wrong with honoring all the people you accidentally called “Mom?”
Fuck Your Tree The Way It Deserves To Be Fucked This Arbor Day
Show your tree how much you love it…physically.
Chic Winter Dresses That Scream ‘AGGHHH I’M NOT A DRESS I’M ALIIIVE’
“YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME I’M REALLY ALIVE!” says the body-hugging gown…
Relationship Advice: How Do I Get A Daddy Like Santa?
Santa is the ultimate space daddy and now you may want to get your own but stay away!
Sugar-Free Christmas Cookies Less Disappointing Than Your Incel Son
Nothing sucks the air out of a holiday gathering like sugar-free baked goods and the son with a face only a mother would want to disown.
These New Twists On Hot Cocoa Might Literally Save Your Life
Fellow spiritual siblings, if you’ve been on a vision journey over the last 12 months, you may be blissfully preparing for the season of peace and joy. Unfortunately, here on the bodily plane, it turns out that everything everywhere is now terrible. But nothing can stop the lighting of the menorah or the trimming of […]
Which Christmas Tree Is Right For Your Empty, Loveless Apartment?
Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.
Holiday Dating Hack: Just Fuck Your Cousins?
Same time, same place, same genetics. Eh, with modern dating, who has time to care about all three?
Gift Ideas For Santa, Who Is Real, Despite What Liars Say
All level-headed, thoughtful adults know that Santa is totally real and totally in need of some sweet Christmas presents.
Festive Seasonal Mugs That Zero People Want From You This Christmas
Honestly, who goes ‘Oh a mug? Fantastic, that’s what I’ve always wanted and had no idea how to get’
There Are So Many Things Besides Stuffing You Can Put In A Turkey
Literally tons of things. Sand? Raisins? I dunno, I’m just the excerpt guy. Read the damn article.