Keeping The Spark Of Psychological Warfare Alive In Your Long-Term Celebrity Relationship
Relationships are hard work, whether you’re a Hollywood power couple forever trapped beneath the microscope of public adoration and scrutiny, or some fucking nobody. However, we feel that the burden of maintaining a long-term romantic relationship is borne exponentially more heavily by the very famous (and we are certain you agree). When you and another […]
People To Quietly Rage Against While You Pretend To Be Meditating
Hey, sometimes you just need a moment (or 20) to silently seethe with rage, aka a classic secret anger meditation. We get it! But in this world of endless d-bags, it can be super hard to choose exactly who to direct your bottomless anger meditation at. And that’s exactly why we’ve compiled this handy list […]
Four Easy-To-Get Cryptocurrencies That Will Change Your Life
Sorry, Warren Buffett! Cryptocurrency is the way of the future and it’s here to stay. Cryptocurrency, or “Crypto” as us insiders like to call it, is the money our children, our grandchildren, and even our great-great-great-great grandchildren will deal in because it represents freedom and can’t be controlled by a would-be authoritarian government. Through decentralization, […]
Does He Like You Or Does He Just Need Your Soul For A Spell?
We’ve all been there. The guy you’re crushin’ on is giving you totally mixed signals. Sometimes you feel like you’re definitely sensing a connection, and other times you’re convinced it’s all in your head. It’s the age-old question: Does he like you, or does he just need your soul to summon Khaos, the ancient Demon […]
Self Care Tip: Throw Yourself A Birthday Every Day This Year
With so many things to keep track of, what with your travel Instagram account and hiring someone to maintain your travel Instagram account, it’s easy to neglect the most essential thing in your life – yourself. That’s right, you are the most precious gift you’ve ever received, and if you don’t take the time to […]
Get Last Night’s Perfect Date Out of Your Home
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]So you went on the perfect date. You saw a movie that passed the Bechdel Test. There were no awkward moments involving paying. He expressed the appropriate amount of horror at current events (a lot), took you to a secret bar you’ve never been to before, and you got to enter through what you THOUGHT […]
Religious Awakening: I Saw A Coyote Today
[Editor’s Note: This article has been edited to be as racially sensitive as possible. Many of the words have been changed to be more inclusive. The views expressed are of the individual, and do not reflect the views of the site as a whole.] This morning I was driving along, and a coyote stopped in front […]
How My Near Death Experience Changed Me
There I was, driving my Prius home from a fair trade essential oils bazaar when it happened. For a brief moment, I felt as if I were one with all of creation, the sun sending me its solar energy, my body vibrating at the resonance of all the beings around me, a dove soaring majestically […]
Best Reasons To Stop Editing Your Text Messages
Have you ever noticed how much time is wasted writing a post or composing the perfect text message? Half the time you’re hitting the damn delete button, rewriting sentences that your phone tries to ruin by changing “fucking” to “ducking” and “seriously” to “seruslkljflskl” or whatever other bullshit tactics it has devised to destroy your […]
Spiritual Wellness: Feeling Lost?
Winter, am I right? Shorter days, full of cold and gray and slush and blah. It’s enough to make even the most spiritually attuned among us feel a little disconnected. Personally, my day job had me coming in early and leaving late enough that I swear I hadn’t seen the sun in a week! Aside […]
Celebrity Wellness Trends For The Dirt Poor
Celebrities: “they’re just like us”…. except for the buckets of moola they have to spend on their health and good looks. But don’t worry; just because you don’t drive a Maserati or spread caviar on your morning bagel doesn’t mean you can’t look fly AF. We’ve got three hot wellness trends that we’re gonna show […]
Pale Skin: How To Get That Perfect Porcelain Look
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Just so we’re clear up front: this not an article promoting all the virtues of being white. There’s already more than enough material out there to last a lifetime on that topic and if that’s what you’re looking for please see history books, any J. Crew outlet, Gary Busey, the current administration or the Winter […]
I Inject My Kids With Kindness – NOT VACCINES
In 2016, after my eighth round of IVF, I was finally blessed with my stunning designer triplets, Hayden, Kayden, and Dave. After becoming a mom, I started doing some hard soul-searching. What type of parent did I want to be? I was interested in combining parenting with the holistic, natural, and spiritual philosophies by which […]
Reaching Spiritual Enlightenment Via Taco Bell’s Taco 12-Pack.
Very few mortals have unlocked the true potential of Taco Bell’s taco 12-pack. I can’t blame them for not taking the plunge. But I say ‘Live Mas’
From The Archives: Bunny Ears Explains How To Deal With The Vapours
A rare and delightful treat from the Bunny Ears Archive!
Forget Those Beginner Witch Kits, We’ll Send You Actual Blood And Skulls
Step up to Flavor Town, witches. We have a beginner witch kit that will totally Fairuza your Balk and put you on the path to casting wicked spells.
I’m An Introvert And I Need Every Person On Earth To Know It
Only after I personally tell every sentient creature that I’m super shy will the world finally understand my struggles as an introvert.
How To Stop Calling Your Personal Trainer At 3AM To Yell JUST LET ME BE FAT BRAD
Having a personal trainer is great but who likes working out? Why move your body around like a poor building rocks for money or whatever when you could just wait for a sexy android body to come on the market someday? It’s tough; the urge to call your personal trainer at 3AM to screech JUST […]
Please Give Us 500 Dollars For Our Seminar That’s Already Been Canceled
We will not be offering refunds.
Aromainjury: Slowly Defeat Your Enemy With These Scent Oils
The less-practiced craft of Aromainjury will help you organically conquer that nosy coworker or messy roommate. Here are our favorite fragrances of annihilation!
Bunny Ears Lifehack Of The Day: Today: 09/10-09/16
Check back for more lifehacks every day! Sunday September 16, 2018 Saturday September 15, 2018 Friday September 14, 2018 Thursday September 13, 2018 Wednesday September 12, 2018 Tuesday September 11, 2018 Monday September 10, 2018
Improve Your Life Using Voodoo: The Ultimate #Lifehack
Did you know that lifehacks have been around for centuries, long before the birth of the digital revolution? Way before you could use your shoe as a makeshift cup-holder or a tennis ball as a catch-all storage device, societies around the world basically invented the lifehack through the ceremonial practice of Voodoo! Shockingly, modern lifehack […]
My Bloody Showdown With The Menstrual Cup Cult
Has this ever happened to you? You’re out shopping, spa-ing, or dishing over brunch with your girlfriends, when you casually announce that you need to visit the ladies’ room to change your tampon—only to discover that you’re among members of the cup cult. “You’re still using tampons?!” they shriek, proceeding to subject you to a […]